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The Dramatis Personae, or, (some of the) PLAYER CHARACTERS

This is a good place to quickly get a sense for characters, past and present, who have been1)2) or currently are3) running around the Island. It is an especially good resource for new roleplayers looking to get the lay of the land. All of the information here should be brief and easy to understand.

This page was imported unchanged from the old wiki on 27-11-2023. Links are, frankly, not expected to work, especially as the current writer has only unreliable tools for determining who is still active.

It would also be nice if you used this template when posting:

==== Your Character's Name ====

**Background:** One hundred words or less.

**Significant plot summary:** Pick the biggest plot you've been involved in,
or summarize your most important plot points in one hundred words or less.

**Personality:** Fifty words or less.

**Apparent characteristics:** What a stranger would notice at first glance
about your character. Fifty words or less.

**Skills:** If any. Limit this to the five most important. Twenty five words
or less.

**[[dramatis_personae:your wiki page|See your-character's-name's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.]]**

Or, if you must, just put a link to your character page under a level three headline with your character's name on it. You lazy bastard.

It is highly suggested that you edit your character's bio here if you have the term Midget, as it has been changed to Squat now. Thanks!


Abe Xedinski

Background: A rather average looking human male, aside from the fact that he's a zombie and in an advanced state of decay. Regardless of this, he appears to be capable of shuffling about, doing his business. Said business seems to include activities such as being rather lost and confused. There's clear evidence that this particular zombie has newly arisen from the place he was buried in, as his clothing and some more… recently formed bodily cavities are full of dirt, sand and other miscellaneous earthly things.

Personality: Quiet, soft-spoken and shy. Doesn't talk to strangers, which is just about everyone.

Apparent characteristics: Generally falling apart at the seams, and elbows. About 5' 5“ when not hunched. Is wearing old clothing that might have been a bright orange tee and overalls at some point. Constantly fiddles with a small rusted pin attached to his bandolier.

Skills: Lurching around and looking confused. That's about all he's good for.

Good lord, what happened to this poor guy?

Absinthe Maple

Background: Her homeworld's civilization destroyed by a portal unleashing an unknown enemy, she and her people fled to an abandoned outpost in the middle of deep space. Known as The United Imperium, so named after their goddess, the space station became the central point of their empire in the fight against the unknown enemy. Her culture is dedicated to peaceful space exploration.

Significant plot summary: Since she has terrible ADHD, like many of her species, she stopped by the Island but then continued on her exploration mission. She returned after falling in love with one of the Islanders4).. also she kinda crashed her ship, blame the island's energy for distrupting the landing. Currently, she is rebuilding her ship, The Scudo, Italian for Shield.

Personality: Perky, spunky, quirky, ADHD, optimistic, unafraid of fights.

Apparent characteristics: her multi- coloured ears and tail, her Baker Street Coat, the Device on her shoulder (which is a direct connection to her ship. Life support, clothing fabricator, weapons cache)

Skills: Space Knowledge, Speed, Ever sharp Claws and Teeth, Military and militaristic training from many cultures

Click the link?


Background: Ada cannot remember her background. She has come to believe that this is probably a good thing - at the very least, she's realized it's irrelevant.

Significant plot summary: Was a kittymorph, found a Saber, became a mutant, painted a mural, joined the Aleatory Ensemble. Since then she's grown up a bit, cleaned up a bit more, rediscovered alcohol. Learned rather a lot about painting and improbability. Has been dragged to many adventures, though these days it's just as often she's doing the dragging.

Personality: Childlike, argumentative, literal, excitable. Anterograde amnesia (though drawing does help). Gradually improving sense of self-worth. Loves hats, booze, things that go bang, and requisition. Complains loudly. Passionate about mutant rights. Don't call her a lady.

Apparent characteristics: Neatly braided and fussily kept grey-and-coloured yarn hair. Red-brown fur on dark brown ears. Green shows through the black in her eyes. Six-fingered on both hands. Inky tongue; stained lips. Grey vest, impeccably white shirt, grey pants, brown boots, and an oversized black tophat.

Skills: Her paintings are much more than just paint. Also, she has a garden.

Ada's wiki page may contain a greater-than-average amount of lies.

Adder Moray

Background: Sociopath turned pretzel shop manager turned island inhabitant. Adder had led a mostly normal life until being abducted, aside from the sociopath thing.

Significant plot summary: Had his little brother piloting the ship that was him for a while. He got better.

Personality: As of late, a slightly warmer version of the previously cold, manipulative cunning that defined him. Treats his subordinates well.

Apparent characteristics: Gold wire framed glasses, rarely seen without his black duster jacket.

Skills: Probably can't break your neck, but can certainly break your self-confidence. Eidetic memory.

Want to know more about Adder, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE


Background: A rambunctious girl, raised by her archaeologist parents. She took up for her friends, loved to show off her latest bruises and scrapes, and never backed down from a dare. As a woman, she led her own all-male expedition, seeking lost treasures to sell for profit.

Significant plot summary: Settling into the family life with her husband, Hawkeye Halon.

Personality: She's an independent woman, a strong leader, and an even stronger drinker. She's brave to the point of being stubborn and will never let a friend down. She's easy to get along with and she's always up for a drink. Oh, but she's very quick to temper and will not suffer fools or those who treat others unkindly. She's VERY quick to set her judgement about someone.

Apparent characteristics: One would notice her flaming red hair first. She's always sporting a boyish grin, a glass of whiskey, and a friendly wink. 5'8”, lean and tan, lengthy gams, leather asscape, corset, and kneehigh boots in a brownish-red tone.

Skills: High Physical Dexterity, High Alcohol Tolerance, Oddly Strong for a Woman, Charming, and Lucky. Yes, luck might as well be a skill for her.

Aer (Listani D'sunt Aer-Lieb)

Background: Aer (her full name is hilariously long and difficult to properly pronounce) is a former Australian Marine who was born into and served in what was left of the armed forces there after the EMP bombings. Her military career is by no means the “neatest;” she's worked the private mercenary beat long enough to know what's-what in your average brushfire conflict.

Significant Plot Summary: Spent the first few days on the Island mucking about and generally causing scenes wherever she went, though this was due to her being an unsigned agent with a penchant for disaster. She's since signed to the Bordello, as a Hostess and for general security (what Dizzy doesn't handle, that is). She also offers her services as a freelance mercenary to any contestant that can meet her (sometimes unreasonably) steep asking price.

Personality: Slow to trust but quick to befriend, Aer is both the life of the party and the sober hangover afterwards. She has a deep and mature sense of right and wrong, but her hotheadedness and passions upend her values often.

Apparent characteristics: 5'10'', 125lbs (but don't you bloody ask her about her weight), female, and usually sporting a vividly colorful hairstyle. Normally wears a modified Non-Newtonian shock suit with the arms and legs cut off, all under a worn jacket.

Skills: She's killer with a rifle, better with a pistol, and bloody horrible at hand-to-hand combat. Used to love mag-gliding, back before the EMP bombs dropped. Her sneezes set off Butterfly Effects across the Island, often with darkly amusing and horrifying results. She's picked up photography as a hobby since she came to the Island.


Background: He doesn't remember his back story, he only started remembering things after his first couple visits to the drive. Recently a few fragments are left of his life before the island.

Significant plot summary: Recreating the QQQ hidden shrine and explore the remnants of the old one. Although he tends to float about when other members of QQQ are around.

Personality: Very Improbable. One day, he may be hard to anger and then the next quite quick. Generally though, he tends to be quite mischievous and playful. He also tends to be nice5). He also has a fascination with ducks.

Apparent characteristics: He looks like a thieving midget bastard in a red Victorian-era suit and has a small red hat.

Skills: Like a lot of Jokers, he has a improbable deck of cards and dice. He can also change his appearance and teleport, though both of which he does on the rare occasion.

See Akogi's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.

Alisen Small

Background: Something of a traveler before being brought to the Island, Alisen seems perfectly at home here. It is certainly more peculiar than anywhere else she's ever been, but she takes everything in stride, and carries on.

Significant plot summary: Alisen has been thus far involved in no plots, significant or otherwise.

Personality: She hides her shyness behind a tendency to be snarky and mildly rude. She is hardly soft-spoken, though often quiet, and can be overly talkative in close company. She is very much at home in a crowd, though she speaks less when surrounded by people chattering. She adores music of any variety. 6)

Apparent characteristics: She's moderately tall (around 5'9“), slender but still comfortably curvy, with longish, dark burgundy hair and dark-lined eyes. She seems a bit standoffish, has a very peculiar color to her hands, wears a top hat at all times, and walks with a sway in her hips. Her eyes are a startling light blue, if you get close enough to see them.

Skills: Minor carpentry and other small fix-it skills, general musical talent with a proficiency in a handful of particular instruments. She's good at tuning stringed instruments.

Follow Alis beyond the Mirror.

Alpha and the Mass, Chimental

Background: Chimental is made of creatures that lived on the island before the Improbability Drive was placed on the island. The Drive mutated these creatures, giving them intelligence and various abilities. They decided to form a new pack, led by the Alpha Male, also known as Alpha.

Significant plot summary: None recently.

Personality: Alpha is a kind creature that is willing help anyone, but he is very protective of his mate. So if you ever try to hurt his mate, run. If you do, you will finally know why they say, 'Hell hath no fury like the leader of a group of mutant animals scorned.'

Apparent characteristics: Very few people know what Alpha really looks like, because he and a small group of mutants journey into the outposts under the guise of a large red cloak and a stone mask over the fabric. However, sources say Alpha is reptilian in nature, due to a long scaly tail and claws that appear outside of the cloak.

Skills: Alpha can fly7) with to his leathery wings.8) The rest of Chimental have mutant abilities that vary from creature to creature.

Here there be Dragons. Click here to find more about Alpha and the rest of Chimental.


Background: In her former life, Althea was a scientist, but always harbored a passion for baking. Both of these traits came in handy when she was unceremoniously tossed onto the island.

Significant plot summary: Althea usually plays a supporting role, preferring to enjoy other's madcap adventures. Formerly brewmaster and currently Head of House at the Bingo Hall.

Personality: Quiet, but friendly. If she warms to you, she'll bend over backwards to accommodate your every need.

Apparent characteristics: Often in an apron (for mundane baking) occasionally a lab coat (for the more dange-er, interesting baking experiments). No matter how hard she tries to stay clean, she's usually covered in flour. The flour cloud, worryingly, occasionally shows signs of sentience.

Skills: She's able to conjure up freshly baked goodies, no matter where she is. Often brownies, but jaffa cakes and cookies have also been observed.


Background: Just a college student in his former life. Mum and Dad, steady family, and all that stuff. He's got no siblings, and no friends that were significant in his life. Fortunately, all he remembers is existing on the Island.

Significant plot summary: Has Consumed Modi's enchanted liquors, fallen in and out of love, Shaken Meatwater's hand and survived, built his own house. Became a member of BREW, and has been a recluse, developing Improbable brews since then. You'll see him around, from time to time.

Personality: Friendly, outgoing, studious, wise, undyingly loyal to friends, proper, gentlemanly, charming, and funny. Quite the flirt, though. Be wary of that odd charisma he has.

Apparent characteristics: He's tall, and has white hair. He's got dazzling blue-green eyes that the ladies and gentlemen seem to love. He's got curious cat ears, and quite the talent for charm.

Skills: Charm, Improbable brewing, cooking, building, and most of all, hospitality.

You'll find something useful here.

Amaya Olivia Kincaid

Background: Amaya was (and still very much is) as average as one could be in a world that televises a war against Improbability itself. She was a simple med-student from California, that is until she was snatched up on her way home to participate in a television show she never believed was real to begin with.

Significant plot summary: She still has a secret hope of one day making it off the Island and returning back to her “normal” life. Even if that means leaving the few who seemed to truly know her behind. How improbable that the few she trusts with her life, are the very type of inhabitants she has been warn against from the very start.

Personality: Not your biggest social butterfly, but she does tend to help any and all she feels are in need of it. She might even give you the shirt off her back if you ask nicely! She is fiercely loyal and protective of her friends and clan mates, though with the majority of them being Jokers, she finds herself at a loss more often than not.

Apparent characteristics: 5'7” with oval frame-less glasses over emerald green eyes. Her dark brown hair is cut short in the back and long in the front, with bangs covering her left eye with large purple streaks. Usually found in jeans and her worn, black trench coat.

Skills: The only true “skill” she has is the medical knowledge she brought with her, though when one lives on an Island of “soldiers” sort of speak, such a skill is hardly something to brag about.

But wait, there's more!


Background: Was a UNIX geek in the USA. Oddly enough, there was very little need for his skills after the EMP. Volunteered to come to the Island.

Significant plot summary: Proprietor of Ashtu's Anarchy Annex.

Personality: A loner. Eccentric and eclectic. Think hermit hobbit. Eavesdropper. Tends to interrupt conversations, confuse everything and everyone, and disappear. Wants to overthrow The Watcher, for some reason. Tries to keep his little twin sister out of trouble.

Apparent characteristics: Has almost-glowing, green, joker-like eyes. Usually wears less than the average kittymorph. Smells strongly of strong coffee. Always wears a tall, silk top hat (concealing a coffee maker). Has a prehensile tail for the sole purpose of holding a coffee mug. A wanna-be.

Skills: Making (and sharing) GOOD coffee. Fixing things. Making puns.


Background: Ashtu's identical twin sister. She is ten at least ten years younger than Ashtu 9), and thinks used to think her brother is was a jerk. Or maybe a creep.10)

Significant plot summary: General manager of Ashtu's Anarchy Annex

Personality: Arrived on the Island about a year after her brother, and has dedicated herself to making his their life miserable happy again. Obnoxious Pleasant to everyone almost everyone. Considers the Island and everyone on it a personal insult favor.

Apparent characteristics: Pretty in a plain way. Blue spiky hair. Goth/Punk/Rebel. Think fifteen year-old-girl, going on twenty-five. A wanna-be.

Skills: Aggravating her brother Keeping her brother out of trouble.


Background: An ancient, if not terribly powerful, quasidemonic entity which, after spending several millenia trapped in a deep-sea trench, was momentarily supercharged and freed by a slow-moving aftershock of the EMP. Upon emerging from the ocean, Azhron managed to enter one of the Network's planes and forcibly possess one of the Island's incoming contestants.

Significant plot summary: Since arriving on the Island, Azhron has observed the empowering effect Improbability has on many contestants, and has been exposing himself to as much as possible in pursuit of greater strength.

Personality: Azhron has a lofty, gloomy, and irritable demeanor, though sometimes he forgets this at home. He is, after his time under the sea, not the world's sanest mind, something not at all uncommon on the Island, and is neurotically obsessed with power.

Apparent characteristics: Azhron's defining characteristics, in any form, are his eyes, crimson with catlike slit pupils. He cultivates a head of long dark hair, and generally wears an expression of either disdain, bemusement, or confusion, not always fitting to the current situation.

Skills: Azhron has the ability to see other nonphysical entities like himself. Sometimes he talks to them. Sometimes he talks to them when they aren't even there.

Azhron has no wiki page, so he will send you here instead.11)

(Generally Uncle) Bernard

Background: English by the grace of God and a cold night in for his mother and father. Born at some point. There's evidence to suggest this could have been in the 1770s, or perhaps 1909, and maybe, even, the 1970s. He may have been an police officer. Or a train driver. Or perhaps even a fighter pilot. He may even have been a television presenter. Or a food critic. Perhaps even an accountant. That's the point, really. He could have been. Really. His easy charm with a certain demographic saw some TV executives rubbing their hands in glee and he was brought to the Island to help increase market share amongst those ladies who would otherwise be working in charity shops.

Significant plot summary: The Sammich of Dismay, The Puce Tulip & Chauvelin, The Midget General Strike and M*A*S*H 404. To be fair, his normal role in plots is to get in the way, bumble around and generally come out with appalling double entendres much to the dismay of his colleagues.

Personality: Pleasant and slightly dotty. Much given to often-times harmless flights of fantasy. During these episodes other personality traits may be visible. Caution is advised, of course, during said events.

Apparent characteristics: Shock of white hair, not quite covering his head. Tall, rangy. Dressed rather tweedily in cardigan and blazer. Or not.. .

Skills: An engineer. Rather capacious pockets, panniers and lunch-box. Oo-er.

See Bernard's wiki page TO TRY AND MAKE SOME SENSE OF IT ALL.



Background: An Island monster that looked around and saw that attacking contestants was begging to be killed. “Turned” to the side of “Good”12) 13) and now spends his time mucking about in outposts. His failure to “perform normally” has warranted a number of drastic changes to his mindset and body in attempts to bring him “to spec.”

Significant plot summary: 13, 8. That plot is at least 800 square feet.

Personality: Generally laid back. Due to his origins, he has natural tendencies to “go after” anyone who would usually be quickly culled in the jungles, though he suppresses these urges. Possibly a bit forgetful and scatterbrained these days, but more seeming like he's distracted by something.

Apparent characteristics: All the notes he has stuffed in his pockets make him seem a bit… eccentric. While he tries to keep his coat clean, he doesn't wash it often enough, leaving dirt marks along the bottom and on the edges of the sleeves. Also, he's a rabbit.

Skills: Bart is spatially minded, and is often a well of information on a variety of topics. A deft hand when it comes to construction, it seems, too.

Why doesn't anyone leave this link the text that the template shows? Wait. Damn it!


Past: An accountant before the Island, her past is incredibly dull. No family aside from one estranged sister in a Luddite nunnery and a stray feline she named Katerine. Was an introvert by chance, not by choice. Binjali was originally an alias, but is now who she chooses to be.

Plot: Binjali has been a cart of singing felt vegetables for some reason and spent a lot of time scouring the island for Pinche Cabron. Recently was victorious against Dracula and his sentient motorcycle. Known to be part of the Aleatory Ensemble, watch carefully for odd behavior.

Personality: A nice girl. Friendly, usually cheerful, tries to be polite to all despite occasional distasteful interactions. Occasionally absentminded, talks to herself. Fidgets when distressed and an easy blusher. You can usually tell what she's thinking by looking at her face (and she knows it). Recently, she's gotten more courageous and outspoken.

Apparent characteristics: She is often accompanied by a tiny wallaby named Thief who rides in a sling. Her clothing recalls 1600s French musketeers (or movies about them), as does her hat and rapier. She has kind eyes and a wide, mobile mouth that often smiles.

Skills: Food appreciation, mending and basic sewing, finding information and following instructions in books. Possibly storytelling, although not thoroughly tested. Has some skill in logic and fast talking when pressed.

See Binjali's wiki page for a different point of view.


Background: Born on a trading ship, Boudicca travelled along the Atlantic coasts of the Americas, Europe, and Africa. Or, at least, what was left of them. Books, those precious things, would be hoarded away in her trunk. She was raised by people that came and left, but she always remained. Until, she too was gone.

Significant plot summary: Arrived on the Island and started a band of rovers. Married and divorced Albert Carter (they continue to be friends) and disbanded her clan. She has since joined DICE and is settling in nicely. She has found her smile, again.

Personality: Cheery! At times, a bit solemn or thoughtful, but very friendly. Sometimes friendly to a fault. She is learning to be more cautious. Polite. Curious about near everything.

Apparent characteristics: 5' 6“ tall. That hair. A brown and curly mass of hair. Scarred palms and, typically, bruised skin. Green eyes peeping out.

Skills: Moderately good cook. Medic. Can brew a pot of tea like nobody's business. Listens.


Background: Swapped a biochem+chem degree for medical physics, training to play with hospital machines. Living with two friends, three cats and a hamster, in Birmingham, UK.

Significant plot summary: Arrived, made some friends, joined a clan, made more friends, made her own clan. In between, spent a lot of time exploring, mapping, building, and taking various notes.

Personality: Smiling, friendly, cheerful, polite and helpful. Loyal and loving to her friends. Usually far too sensible and nice, but enjoys being silly and strange.

Apparent characteristics: age 27, 5'8 (170cm) tall, glasses, brown eyes, elbow-length fluffy browny-blond hair, a bit heavy.

Skills: Horrible puns, cooking, basic first aid, coming up with crazy/random/useful ideas. Also finding patterns: mapping the Factory, researching Improbable statistics, etc. As a Joker: molecular engineering! Seeing and feeling, and poking and playing, on atomic to cellular levels. Great fun and sometimes useful too.

Buddleia has a wiki page at last, with a selection of scenes and stories she's been in!


Background: ByteKing is a season one returning contestant named HodgePodge. While changed into a man by the drive, she has since 'fixed' that problem.

Significant plot summary: Architect, Sponsor and Mad-am of the Improbable Bordello outside of Kittania.

Personality: Usually pretty mild, she enjoys talking with friends and inserting a little flirting/naughtiness where she can. It's hard to make her angry, but she has little time for drama queens/kings. Goes by Byte or BK.

Apparent characteristics: Since re-becoming a joker, she has glowing green pupils that glow when her powers are manifesting. Usually dressed in a dark green Victorian gown, she has old eyes, even though her appearance is quite young.

Skills: When her eyes glow, Byte can hear conversations that have occurred in the area previously. This can be disconcerting to her when she doesn't initiate it. She can also teleport short distances. Usually just far enough to get into town from the jungle just outside, or to leave town.

See Bytes's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.


Cadye Willfan

Background: Cadye is a construct, a biological machine from Singapore (whose already-excellent biological research community really took off after the EMP). She was built to design, modify, and assemble other constructs, and so is an engineer first and foremost.

Significant plot summary: Her surgical and medical skills have played supporting roles in occasional plots. Right now, she is trying to cope with a certain amount of planned obsolescence.

Personality: She has had trouble adapting her design to the freewheeling needs of the Island. Almost cripplingly shy, she tends to annoy her clanmates by following their nonexistent orders; she is non-deferential only when absorbed in work.

Apparent characteristics: A round, tiny Asian woman, under five feet tall and cheerfully plump despite the privations of S2. She is always dressed in work clothes that cover every square inch of skin below her jaw.

Skills: A gifted biological engineer, she's dying to make you an improved arm, which coincidentally means excellent surgical and anatomical skill. Good general engineering and design skills, especially with mechanical problems. Sewing. Blushing. And - after years of being the most probable Joker around - Sessine woke her Improbability with a vengeance.

See Cadye's wiki page for more.


Background: Once a rancher around the town of Dartmoor in England, she now hunts all over the Island in search of a way to regain lost memories.

Significant plot summary: As one of the Infected, her demonic parasite Shax shares her body. Neither want to infect anyone else, as they have no wish to be responsible for anyone. However, they have infected a puppy, turning it into a hellhound.

Personality: Very sweet and even tempered. Though she does have the odd tendency to become angry at the blink of an eye.

Apparent characteristics: At the moment, she's a Kittymorph with ginger furred ears and tail. Also has one gold eye and one teal eye. A strange purplish black mark stretches across her left cheekbone.

Skills: A mechanic. She can fix it all, from clothes to machines. She can make things as well.

See Caelan's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.


Background: Born to runaway academics, Calliaphone was raised on the road, travelling the traction fair circuit in a steam-drawn caravan. Her whole life has been one long carnival, set to the musical accompaniment of the fairground pipe organ.

Significant plot summary: Since arriving on the Island, Callia has: dived to the wreck of a submarine; stolen a screwdriver; repaired, lost and regained a sentient accordion; helped some toasters discover their musical talents; been to the South Pole and acquired a penguin; been banned from the pub; built, lost and re-gained a cart; lost her mechanical skills and (with Marly's help) regained them while setting her good friend g_rock back to rights.

Personality: Cheerful and sunny, with occasional lapses into homesickness and substance-abuse. She's crazy about automata, especially musical ones, and hates killing - especially machines. She's kinda clumsy, and is a positive menace (mostly to herself) with weapons and power-tools alike. And as for her financial acumen - let's not go there.

Apparent characteristics: Small stature, big grin, gap between front teeth. Pink plaits, grey-green eyes, many many freckles.

Skills: Inquisitive, kind-hearted, with an instinctive feel for mechanics. She talks to machines as if they're bound to be sentient. And sometimes, just sometimes, she's right.

See Calliaphone's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.


Background: Pillaging, plundering, rifling, and looting. Kidnaping, ravaging, and not giving hoots.

Significant plot summary: Was once Genevieve the Pirate Queen. Got a name change. She's planned and participated in many raids.

Personality: She's not one to take tripe from anyone, really. She, when bored, makes up stuff to amuse herself with. Usually at the expense of others. She's proud of her crew, and loves doing things with them.

Apparent characteristics: She's tiny. She's got an Irish accent and a short fuse.

Skills: She can be threatening at 7 inches tall.

Click here to learn jack shite


Background: Before the EMP, Carric worked with computers a lot, and he lost everything when the pulse struck. For the time in between the EMP and when he was brought to Improbable Island, he mostly roved around, struggling to survive.

Significant plot summary: Enjoys getting involved in pretty much anything that's happening around the Island.

Personality: Carric is very curious about everything and has the strange tendency of remaining very outgoing and happy even when placed in less than favorable circumstances (such as, say, for example, being thrown out of an airplane onto an Island swarming with monsters.

Apparent characteristics: He's nearly always covered in blood and doesn't seem to care. Also, his body structure is constantly changing.

Skills: Good with computers (A lot of good that'll do); rather resourceful; somewhat charismatic in many cases; able to cope with hunger and pain fairly well.

Here is Carric's rather nondescript wiki page. It'll get better, I promise!


Background: Lived on the Mainland for quite some time and is now a contestant on the show, Improbable Island. She swears she's never been here before. But familiarity nags at her…

Significant plot summary: Currently in the business of keeping and then returning Kittens after a short stint of caring for them.

Personality: Shy, amused, and adventurous.

Apparent characteristics: Black Hair, Glasses, Freckles. Looks like she's in her late teens or early twenties. Wears Overalls.

Skills: Acting, Debate, Being Somewhat Charismatic once confident, Drinking tea from a Skillet.

See Carroll's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.


Background: She woke up in the forest and didn't remember a thing. She became feral, teaching herself how to survive on the island since she did not come in contact with other drive creations.

Personality: Quite aggressive and hesitant at first due to her nature, though once a bond is formed she becomes very easy going. She also has a bad urge to chase after small objects.. like joker's dice. She can't quite speak yet, though Kikuru is teaching her.

Apparent characteristics: Tan fur with black and brown marbled splotches. Three stripes going down her back and a double V crest on her forehead.

Skills: She is learning how to carve, though can make basic weaponry.

Dislikes: HATS.


Background Cenobite or Ceno was a prison guard who was sent over to the island.

Significant plot summary None yet

Personality Ceno sweet and playful but not always. Unselfish or at the very least, he doesn't think through the consequences of his actions.

Apparent characteristics Although he is a shapeshifter all of his forms are emerald green. He cannot change color.

Skills An earth elemental Ceno can control stone, gems, and metal even making creatures that he can bring to life and give people. He is also a shapeshifter and skilled fighter.

Cheshire Cat, The

Background: One of forty or so brethren, created throughout time from the minds and possibilities. Merged with a Contestant, and forced to remain.

Significant plot summary: Once had children, all of whom were sent away from the Island due to the odd effects that were taking place with them. Has been away with 'Tim Burton' as of late.

Personality: Attached to those who know him, generally happy and silly. Generally pleased to meet new persons though.

Apparent characteristics: Is a Cat-man: Purple Ears, Brown hair, purple tail, Worn leather jacket and pants, striped turtleneck. Appears 29. Unfortunately, some prefer him other ways, and so his appearance may change on a whim.

Skills: Ability to Vanish and Reappear at Will. Illusions. Can enter other spaces at will.14) Basic Survival Skills.

Chinaski, Milo Dmitri

Background: 24-year-old American born to Polish parents. A prime candidate for a fight club, he enjoys punching things and, on some level, being punched by things. Also, liquor.

Significant plot summary: He forgot a bunch of stuff and then remembered most of it. He hearts Ophelia. He had a tail for a while somewhere in there. Then he ate some rookie brains. Now he has breasts15).

Personality: I guess I already covered this. Punching. Liquor. Sex. Very good at believing he is right.

Apparent characteristics: 5'5 with messy blonde/ light brown hair. Hides his smallish breasts with baggy canvas coveralls and hopes you won't notice.

Skills: Milo's joker abilities are that he can imbue pretty much anything with intoxicating properties, and can manipulate chemical balances in people's bodies directly as well to a lesser degree. He is immune to most intoxicants himself.



Background: Before the EMP's went off he was an Army sniper. Afterwards, he disappeared into the woods to live the simple life. Eventually they found him and brought him here.

Significant plot summary: Nothing that anyone can remember.

Personality: Quiet, may have anger issues(needs further study).

Apparent characteristics: 6'0” tall, 180 lbs, muscular build, tan skin, short natural red hair, blue eyes, wearing only whatever “armor” he can get his hands on.

Skills: Precision stabbing and timed stabbing.

Personnel file for C.I.D.

Cio Kailian

Background: A relatively average contestant, who took to the role quite well, appreciating her newfound strength and ability to beat wacky monsters into shivering pulp. She started out as an art major, fresh out of college, and just about to fail a job interview when she was taken for the island.

Significant plot summary: Throughout her many drive kills, like just about every other damn contestant here, she's been hit with an increasing amount of improbability, slowly warping her appearance and race. Over time, she eventually developed a resistance to the Watcher's amnesics, which has resulted in an interesting set of memories of past experiences, and some level of body dysphoria, though not to a significant degree.

Personality: She is, regardless of species, is a consistently an optimistic, slightly brash nerd who looks to please as much as she looks to improve herself. While in her original life this meant improving her art, here it means a desire to grow strong and succeed.

Apparent characteristics: Generally, a dark haired, slightly overweight, Asian-American nerd, with modifications obviously present depending on race.

Skills: Art, I suppose. An ever-increasing repertoire of combat skills and strength, too. Also, not a bad cook.

More info!


Background: Born somewhere in west coast America, in a boring small town to a boring small town life, the perfect combination to make a restless young man stir-crazy. Joined the Air Force the instant they'd let him and hasn't been back since… and it doesn't seem likely he ever will. Seems unusual for someone in the service to be taken to the Island, and he'll complain about it at length to anyone who'll listen.

Significant plot summary: Arrived on the Island and was generally very unhappy about it. Slow to make friends and slower to earn them, he's still doing his best to keep to something resembling practicality. Some things don't seem to add up; he has an uncanny skill with nearly any weapon he can hold and a penchant for taking the crazy things a little better than he feels like he ought to.

Personality: Grumpy, suspicious, angry, volatile and acerbic on the surface, but underneath that a loyal friend for those who think it's worth the effort. Rather put out with all of this 'improbability' nonsense.

Apparent characteristics: Fairly short at 5'7“, unobtrusive yet not difficult to pick out of a crowd. Black hair and pale skin make for a stark combination that only seem to highlight the blue of his eyes. He seems to enjoy this, though, taking care mostly to dress himself in blacks and greys.

Skills: Above anything else, he's a fighter. His day isn't complete if he isn't ruining somebody else's. Incongruous to this is a budding hobby as a mechanic and tinkerer.


Background: It's a long story.

Significant plot summary: Once the plaything of Rosalind 'Twosocks Monkey', CLOG has since evolved from a mangling of dead cameras into a camera-eyed KittyMorph with a penchant for musical numbers.

Personality: Silly, enthusiastic, energetic, friendly.

Apparent characteristics: White lens's for eyes, traditional bi-pedal KittyMorph shape in white fur. Silvery metal tail with a universal connector at the end.

Skills: Dancing, friend making.

See her Wiki Page for more information.


Background: Former Leader of BAS and computer programmer.

Significant plot summary: Marly Mutants and the Quest for Unreality

Personality: Like a mutant.

Apparent characteristics: He's a mutant.

Skills: Insulting others, especially Confusing or Classy; Computer Programming

See Cousjava's wiki page for more infomation

Count Sessine

Background: Sessine was brought to the Island from a distant post-singularity future. Before coming to the Island he had died eight times, only once of old age. (Mostly he had been assassinated: politics was a dangerous career there, but he kept going back to it.)

Significant plot summary: When Zolotisty lost her hearing to the Wind, Sessine vowed to her that this would not stand. Though no gambler, he kept that vow. The two were married, then divorced. He established the Island's rail system, and tries but utterly fails to conceal his pride in this.

Personality: Mild-mannered, courteous unless severely provoked, a careful planner, an ingenious inventor, a bit of a mystic, Sessine has been quieter of late. He laughs less often than he did, though he still has his quick, engaging grin.

Apparent characteristics: Sessine is lean and wiry, mid-height, usually about thirty-five years old, with curly brown hair and dark blue eyes that occasionally glint a mischievous green.

Skills: Mixes Improbability freely with mechanical skills. When he concentrates, he has the ability to make things that Work Right. He senses shape as the Wind does; his native element is Air. A hand-drummer.

See Count Sessine's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.



Background: First seen early in season 2. He's not sure how he got here, and not sure he wants to leave.

Significant plot summary: n/a

Personality: Calm and quiet. Usually solitary, but helpful if approached. Avuncular.

Apparent characteristics: Somewhere near 50 years old. Average height and build. Touch of grey at the temples. Can easily hide in a crowd, and often does.

Skills: Not a magician, shapechanger or pan-dimensional time travelling alien. Can think pretty well but.

See Daedalus' wiki page here.

dark knight

Background: She's a off-worlder who's been on the island before. The last time she was here the drive ripped apart the three souls that make her up. Though during the violent nature of the reset after the pilot they were sent back to their home with no memory of the island. She came back following Val who came to try to stop Improbably from leaking into their world. She is half phoenix, but her abilities are being suppressed currently.

Significant plot summary: She has watched a few plots occur so far but hasn't gotten to involved in any.

Personality: dark knight is free spirited, a bit serious at times but in general nice and loyal to friends. Lydia is wry and condescending, she has a eye for detail. Raven is quiet and standoffish.

Apparent characteristics: She has dark wild hair and intence eyes that seem to change colour.

Skills: She is decent with any weapon, and is exceptional at swordsmanship.

See Guardian of Spirit dark knight's wiki page for past and current bio stories.

Dazee Lint-Puggle

Background: This is a story about a young lady named Dazee Lint-Puggle. At least, that's the name she decided to have after she lost her old one in a high stakes checkers match with someone she can't remember. But she never forgets two things: friends and pockets. Pockets are the most important thing in the world to Dazee. She earnestly and firmly believes that without pockets one can never keep possessions, friends, or even love.

Significant plot summary: So far, Dazee has gained and lost a girlfriend; become archenemies with the 4th Wall; and discovered that throwing baby gators at the Wall deters it somehow.

Personality: Although her short attention span and energetic personality often make her confused and forgetful, she is always cheerful (some would say insufferably so, actually.)

Apparent characteristics: Deep auburn hair in complete disarray crowns a faceful of freckles. She's tiny, maybe 4'5. She wears a scuffed leather jacket, and black cargo pants with 40 pockets. Her boots and shirt are pink, and she wears a black bustier.

Skills: Collects baby gators, and throw them at the 4th Wall.

Dazee's Wiki: in which many things about your resident Puggle are explained.


Background: Gu-ni-gugu! My name is Dega. Exactly.

Significant plot summary: Born. Went Insane. Got dropped on the Island.

Personality: Insane. Hyper. Doesn't really like talking that much, but will.

Apparent characteristics: 6'10” 180Lbs-ish, Tabby fur, brown eyes. Doesn't really have a tail, as most of it got cut off. White T-shirt, Blue Jeans.

Skills: Insane knowledge of tube electronics

Dega's wiki page: Where all is 42% revealed, 13% of the time.


Background: Mechanic and handyman hailing from the streets of Brooklyn (so he claims), Den mostly worked on plumbing, fridges, and television sets post-EMP. A quick hand with electronics and pipes, Den's more of the “put things together and tinker to see how they work” guy rather than the “build things from scratch” guy, although he's learning. Lot of his other background, never wanted to talk about. Specifically never talking about relationships or why he's got a poker face a mile long…

Significant plot summary: “Fixing” the Improbability Drive, tinkering with most of the facilities on Island, he's also got that time…thingy. Going on. Don't ask. Oh, and blew up a still, creating a being of sentient alcohol. There's that too.

Personality: Fifty words? Can sum it up in one: Simple. Likes things simple, keeps things simple, or tries to anyway. And because things are simple, you should automatically understand what he's talking about when he rambles. Obviously.

Apparent characteristics: Takes a lot of forms (since he's still active in his drive pursuit) but usually brownish-grey hair, blue-grey to Joker green eyes, smudges from mechanical work, calluses and a sturdy build. Chin full of scruff. Simple clothes

Skills: Tinkering, getting out of sticky situations with a shifty three-card monte, Improbable Tracking Device (eventually Archive), De-Cloth Fu, and Dumb Luck. Dumb Luck's a skill, right?

Someone wrote somethin' 'bout me? Didn't do nothin'....


Background: Doesn't remember anything from before the Island, and not much from her pre-Joker Island days, for that matter.

Significant plot summary: Devorah wandered accidentally into the Bordello one day and made some friends.16) One person she met there was Dizzy, and after a very long period of her insisting that they could never be more than friends, she finally relented and agreed to try for something more. While she doesn't spend as much time there anymore as she used to17), she does venture back occasionally to chat quietly 18) in the Commons or go for a swim 19).

Personality: Extremely, painfully, awkwardly shy. Turns various colours as a result of her embarrassment and stutters horribly, but is really very nice once you get to know her. As comfortable in the jungle as she is uncomfortable in social situations.

Apparent characteristics: 5'2, long brown curly hair, brown eyes that occasionally glow green around the edges. Blushes a lot or grabs at her necklace which changes colours instead.

Skills: Fighting, Swimming, Changing the colours of things, Knitting, and Dizzy is teaching her how to play guitar.


NEW full wiki entry!

Digiko the Clockwork Kat

Background: She was a clockworks specialist before the island, lost her arms in an accident, and replaced them with prosthetics of her own design. They're such a part of her that they persist through DKs, even being reshaped in the process.

Significant plot summary: Long ago, Digiko [REDACTED SECTION] and faded away. Years later she returned deciding to take the bad into something good, and to help others. Donning the mantle of Grand Registrar, Digiko now updates the Land Registry as a service to the other contestants, and keeps record of the way that things have changed in memory of those contestants that have left us behind.

Personality: She's helpful, and typically quiet, but willing to show-off once in a while. Mostly, she's just helpful as the help is needed, be it supportive or combative, it's what the situation calls for.

Apparent characteristics: A fox-axolotl morph of sorts, she's usually short, and wears fairly tight clothes.

Skills: Non-electrical engineering primarily clockworks, textiles, settling disputes, feats of strength, some improbability.

SEE HER PAGE HERE: digiko_the_clockwork_kat


Background: Alien from another universe, who jumps around randomly, visiting worlds for fun and profit. Seeks treasure to sell back home. She has a lot of cybernetic implants, but as of late, has stopped adding them. Travels around with a girl she found in a random universe, who is now 19. Jumped into Improbable Island, but can't get back out.

Significant plot summary: No plots yet.

Personality: Curious and loves to learn new things, an explorer at heart. Tries to resolve conflicts nonviolently. A friendly sort, and tries to be pretty approachable and open-minded. Bit flighty.

Apparent characteristics: A 6'4“ woman with pale white skin, long white hair, and three blue eyes. She is clad in a futuristic suit of black metal, with a thick tail hanging behind her.

Skills: Survival skills, some level of engineering/repair skills, small amount of combat experience.

The full scoop


Background: Hails from Cleveland, Ohio, but spent several years wandering, doing jobs where there's a paycheck.

Significant plot summary: Spends quite a bit of time sulking about the Bordello, but not partaking of services. Found a good friend and more in Devorah.

Personality: Fairly quiet, for lack of things to say. Grunts more often than he talks. Not particularly bright, but knowledgeable in things that keep him alive, and cleverer than most would give him credit for.

Apparent characteristics: 6'0”, brown hair, broad shoulders, usually grinning, almost always in contact with a musical instrument.

Skills: Musician, Luthier, Joker, Handyman, Fighter.


Full Bio

Donk the Ogre

Background: Donk used to live in an enchanted forest. He had a nice home made out of a hollowed out treestump in a swamp by a river. Being ripped from his privacy and thrown into this jungle with cameras in his face has been quite traumatizing. Mildly curious about the nature of reality, Donk missed his riverside swamp home.

Significant plot summary: Donk spent many nights sleeping in Carter's cottage outside Kittania. Trained in cooking skill to match Carter himself. Now the cooking trainer has lost his pots, and Donk misses his swamp.

Personality: Donk has trouble opening up to others and asking for help. Most things he encounters on the island scare him. He takes solice in the fact than he can overpower most of what he runs up against in the jungle. Is most comfortable in or near squat-hole.

Apparent characteristics: Really really tall. Tall and Green. Dressed in a simple tunic. Travels on the back of a gigantic kitten.

Skills: Can ulualy get what he wants through intimidation. Secretly belives in dreams and finging his happy ever after.

See Donk's wiki page for THE SAME INFORMATION.

The DuFrain Twins, Voodoo and Cedric

Background: Two gangsters from the 1930s who ended up on the Island after they were murdered in their own time. Yup, they've been dead all along. (Not that they've realized yet.)

Significant plot summary: Cedric caused a bit of a stir back in the day when he was breaking hearts as first a cap, then a puppet. Voodoo ran around trying to keep him out of trouble (or kill him, one can never really tell with these two). More recently, these two try to avoid plots like the Plague.

Personality: Cedric? A scoundrel. Voodoo? Far more pleasant to be around.

Apparent characteristics: Cedric: 6'0“, brown hair with gray streaks, Joker green eyes, impeccable purple pinstripe suit and spats. Voodoo: 5'10, brown hair kept in a braid full of ribbons, hetero-chromatic Joker eyes, very doll-like.

Skills: Voodoo: Sewing, drinking, gambling, binding souls to dolls. Cedric: Singing, losing, being absolutely despicable, flirting.


Background: A college student and semi-pro video gamer before the EMPs hit, The Duk was grabbed on his way back to his dorm room and dropped on the Island. When he was told what awaited him on the Island, he gave his gamer pseudonym to the man at the front gate and headed into the Island.

Significant plot summary: Recently discovered that even before his Island life, he was never human, but from a race of highly intelligent Interdimentional beings known as Tarloreans, who were among the first to both discover multiple universes AND be able to travel through them. He was dropped on this Earth as an infant to unknowingly research humans. He looks normal because Tarloreans don't look too different from humans except Tarloreans tend to be taller then average with pale skin and frail-looking bodies

Personality: Usually very friendly, but can sometimes be quite mischievous towards Rookies. It's very hard to make Duk legitimately angry, but he can get annoyed.

Apparent characteristics: stands at 6 foot 2 inches and almost always wears his black bathrobe, jeans, a button-down floral shirt (since they ARE on an island, after all), very nice sandals, and a worn top hat completely covered in pins. Also wears a bracelet adorned with vintage game console buttons Lady RavenSkye made for him.

Skills: Very skilled with anything electronic and mechanical, his hat is an infinite storage space and is equipped with servo arms with multiple tools.



Background: Ebenezer used to work in a boring office doing something with lots of numbers and paper. Imagine him sitting in a small cubicle piled over with disorganized papers with his specs propped up on his head, his elbows resting on the desk, and his face buried in his hands. That is what he was doing every day before coming to the Island. He also had a cat named Muffin.

Significant plot summary: Ebenezer has a magical foam sword that was given to him by Skidge. He's married to Escemfer, though they still have a love/hate relationship. Zolotisty has promised to teach him to learn how to fall with style. He also spends a lot of time on the FailBoat (not by choice, mind you).

Personality: The word “curmudgeon” sums it up. If he is rude, grouchy, or cranky, it's best not to take it personally; that's how he makes friends. He is rational by nature, which makes him rather frustrated with the Island's Improbable qualities. Ebenezer also has his own moments of dry humour, however.

Apparent characteristics: As a human, Ebenezer had scruffy, light-brown hair, plain blue eyes, and round spectacles. Though his form may change, this is how he feels under it all. He is usually scowling or sneering and tends to adjust his spectacles as a nervous habit.

Skills: His skills include sneering, doing sums, being the object of a joke, making trips to the FailBoat, and organizing pencils.

See Ebenezer's wiki page for more dry information.


Background: Edwina Carol Black is a radical feminist from Syracuse.

Significant plot summary: She has squishy feelings about Mara. She refuses to kill things, so she will never meet Horatio.

Apparent characteristics: 5'5”, healthy weight, hirsute, long-haired, not filthy but not well-kept

Skills: resourceful, good cook


Epaphus (aka That Annoying Epaphus)

Background: Epaphus has nothing in his background. Rumor has it, he did not exist before being dropped onto the Island. Obviously, this is false, because he already idolized the comic stylings of Daffy Duck, and quickly formed Clan QQQ in his honor. He is also rumored to have some sort of moddish powers but prefers to spend his time in the Jungle, loitering about the Moderator's Grotto20), and having drinks on the Failboat.

Significant plot summary: His most important accomplishment has been finding the super-secret entrance to The Watcher's private quarters on the Failboat, where he made off with the contents of her underwear drawer. While Epaphus considers this Clan QQQ's most important panty raid to date, The Watcher continues to be miffed about this, refuses to go out with him21), and charges him double for drinks at the Failboat bar.

Personality: None known. Rumored to be “snarky” (by Zolotisty), but really more “annoying,” hence his name. Annoying, though, isn't really a personality. Nope, not at all.

Apparent characteristics: Tall. Pale. Highly intelligent, quick, and cunning. Unpredictably unpredictable. Prone to making decisions that seem to be reckless but invariable turn out to be the right choice.22) Dislikes dogma because he's really more of a cat person. Definitely an acquired taste.23)

Skills: Loves to paint graffiti of Blair Hippos on the buttocks of players trapped in the stocks. Also loves to quote obscure art-pop songs and has developed the habit of pursuing himself across the page with footnotes on the forum.24)

Everything known about this player is nothing but lies and rumor. Slanderous lies and rumor.


Background: It's not certain where she comes from or why her name is Escemfer, but her life before the island probably involves Nebraska, and potentially working at a grocery store.

Significant plot summary: Love/hate relationship with Ebenezer, owns a magical foam sword from Skidge, and is currently involved in the Ex Libris plot.

Personality: Bubbly, active, friendly, flighty, flirty, distractable, and fond of flowers. There's not much else to say.

Apparent characteristics: She usually wears a paper sombrero with bottlecaps attached.

Skills: Navigating mazes, bothering people, sleeping, cleaning carcasses.

See Escemfer's wiki page for MANY BUTTERFLIES.



Background: Born from improbability, Fergus was a part of another contestant when they became a mutant in the first Season. He was a permanent, if unwelcome, addition to the otherwise unnoticeable contestant and they wouldn't get along. Eventually, the contestant disappeared and Fergus came back one day, simply a floating head with no body. Network interference is suspected due to the boosted ratings the oddity gave.

Significant plot summary: Nothing overly major yet25), the most notable would be being Manimal on the G Team.

Personality: He is a stereotypical Irishman: Very often drunk and with a thick accent, he is bull-headed and stubborn. He loves to mess with people and pick fights, but he is willing to help answer questions or help (usually).26)

Apparent characteristics: He's a floating head. Around 1' tall, he floats generally 5 feet off the ground. He has reddish-brown hair and a scruffy beard from both ears down to and under his chin. His clan badge covers up the hole where his neck would be. Rarely never smells of booze.

Skills: Picking bar fights, floating out of reach/up into the hard-to-clean places, and drinking heavily with no visible livers.

Oi! See me wiki page fer MORE INFORMATION.


Background: Arrived on the island after a roadside incident that is currently unknown. Has been: Purple, zombie, male, kitty, bug, robot, and bug again. Due to catching Horatio in a good mood, she is now female.

Significant plot summary: Married Giuseppe and TMC27).

Personality: Cheerful, loves playing games of chance. Has a tendency to act more than a little childish at times. Maybe that's Curiosity's 28) influence? Jumpy and terrified of fire and birds.

Apparent characteristics: She's a CentipedeMorph! She's black-chitin'd, had too many little wiggly legs along her side, and has a bug abdomen.

Skills: Speaks Bug. Bug-enhanced strength and can jump pretty well. Seemingly contagious happiness.

Come one, come all, and see the BUG LADY OF IMPROBABLE ISLAND!

Full Metal Lion

Background: Full Metal Lion (call him “Full”, “Lion”, “FML”, or anything but “Late to dinner”) has decided that a world of nudity and apparent immortality is, in fact, pretty cool. Thanks to the bump on the head, he had no idea what happened before the Island. However, due to time-travel shenanigans, he now does.

Significant plot summary: FML is currently building a flophouse/concert hall, called Full Metal Lion's Flophouse/Music Location, and may start a band called “Full Metal Lion and the Large Metal Airplane Obstacles”, or perhaps “The Shit(e)lords”. Snipers attack him occasionally29)30).

Personality: Fluid. Generally lawful to chaotic and good to neutral. May be subject to Humorous Misunderstandings.

Apparent characteristics: A cannon on a wooden mount.

Skills: Punching. Running. Musical and mathematical ability. Catching bullets. The basics.

Full Metal Lion is featured on Page 3!



Background: A Scots-American recently arrived on the island.

Significant plot summary: Nada.

Personality: Fond of progressive rock, Scottish folk music and the color red. Wants a red 3-piece suit. And his collection of Kansas albums back.

Apparent characteristics: Human, and a newb, but learning fast.

Skills: Learns fast, perceptive, non-judgmental.

Visit the Scots-American at home!


Background: Perfectly average office worker from the good ol' US of A. Fell into an open manhole in the middle of a grassy field, and woke up on the Island. Already considered life to be ridiculously improbable, so just sort of went with it. Goes by G, as most people have a hard time pronouncing ' _ ' 31)32)

Significant plot summary: Hasn't been involved in any major plots, yet, but has been ancillary in a few minor ones, including defending 404 alongside Kestrel, Gorbert, and the Mass during the Murphy Skidge incident

Personality: Fairly laid back and friendly. Trusts easily, until given a reason not to. Loves a good scotch and good company. Will defend a friend to the death, his or the other person's.

Apparent characteristics: As a human: just over 6 feet tall, blond, mid twenties. Fairly unremarkable. Currently: 16 feet tall, made of metal and glass, unable to speak but very communicative through trainwhistles and steam-pictures. At times, known to carry an air guitar and a neverending bottle of scotch

Skills: Rockin out, drinking, metalwork. This last has been especially pronounced as a robot. Ask him about his compartments!

CreakStomp on over! Have a scotch and stay awhile!

Georgia Ellis

Background: Worked as a ranch hand and veternarian on a secluded ranch in Tuscany, Italy after finishing University. While in Uni, she studied Veternary medicine and natural science. She is, essentially one of the guys, right down to her lackluster appearance.

Significant plot summary: She hasn't been involved in any major plots thus far with the exception to roaming about the island to familiarize herself with all the outposts and races. She has done deals with Ebenezer, made friends with Mercury and even studied the cheese producing cow, Hilaria.

Personality: She is anti-social. She has no manners whatsoever and is, for lack of better term, rough around the edges. She doesn't like people at all. She's blunt - she will tell you that you're an idiot if she thinks you're an idiot. Her personality does, however, take on a softer demeanour when she is working with animals. REAL ANIMALS. Not these half human weirdos.

Apparent characteristics: She's unkempt. She really doesn't care what people think of her and so does not keep appearances. She is tall! 6' tall and wiry. There is really no feminine characteristics. One may actually find her pretty if she would smile or clean up. But good luck with getting that to happen.

Skills: Veternary skills and remedial medical abilities, tanning and skinning, horseback riding, carpentry (though she doesn't do it much), anything requiring physical labour.

A Rather Un-Eloquent Wiki.


Background: GeTh came into being twenty-one years ago in Batavia, Illinois under certain improbable implausible ridiculous circumstances which will probably be forgotten about and quietly retconned while no one is looking.

SignificantInsignificant plot summary: The closest thing GeTh has to any actual significance is the ongoing construction of the Reflectionary, which will probably be used by someone for something marginally useful at some time in the future. Out of at least ten planned rooms, four are currently complete and none are currently important.

Personality: GeTh had a powerful tendency toward angst in his first six drive kills or so. Fortunately for us all, he got better and is now generally an easy-going person. He often claims to be human even when this is obviously a lie. He explains this by saying “Human is a state if mind.”

Apparent characteristics: These change depending on his current species33)34). However, his body always features some sort of visible metallic component.

Skills: GeTh has a minute degree of control over electrical flow through his metallic parts. He is currently trying to develop this skill further.

Wiki pages are for significant people.



Background: A poor kid from a poor family. Got kicked out of home and subsequently spent a while living on the streets, stealing things and generally hanging out with The Wrong People (though that depends, of course, on your perspective). Events between this point and his much later arrest and deportation are unclear, but whoever he was tangled up with, they were not regarded fondly by authorities.

Significant plot summary: No major plot points thus far. Amongst other things, has been seen rapidly leaving the scene of a gas explosion, singing the odd carol and losing a fight with a small house in AceHigh.

Personality: Generally pragmatic and level-headed. Well-acquainted with the concepts of loyalty, community and trust, but more than a little flexible with the truth - a habit born of necessity. Happy to pick an idea up and run with it; happiest when he has certainty.

Apparent characteristics: Short-cut fair hair, a definitely broken nose. Cracked front tooth.

Skills: Possesses low-level knowledge and skills covering a wide range of hands-on subjects, including masonry, basic electrics and horticulture.

See Haccadine's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.

Harris Doubledon

Background: Garbageman from Bristol becomes Arthur Dent, becomes Kittymorph, becomes Mutant, becomes Kittymorph. Becomes Stonehenge's BFF. Hilarity and hijinks ensue.

Significant plot summary: Came to Improbable Island, became gibbering, wild-eyed mess. Killed the drive, became Kittymorph, relaxed and became quite easily distracted.

Wandered into Stonehenge, got the first few thousand of what is now verging on (or passing) a million dead peoples' memories. Went strange. Joined Amity in Bedlam.

Personality: Flighty, loyal, earnest, distractable, curious. Not-so-closeted adrenaline junkie.

Apparent characteristics: Russian Blue Kittymorph. Tall for a Kittymorph- Six foot. Always wearing gloves of some kind. Some of his limbs are always in motion- mostly his servos.

Skills: Unknown amount of knowledge, guitarist, master chef, climbing, sprinting.

In a firehouse, he's a polecat.



Jay Chaos

Background: His real name is actually John Keats, and he was a college student, doing Physics with emphasis in Quantum Physics, when he got taken to the island. His mind usually was very far from his “friends” minds, so he got used to being alone and thinking. Of course when he discovered about the Island and Doktor Improbable, he became thrilled with the whole Improbable Drive deal. With his parents already dead by the time, no need to say he didn't got very much upset to been taken there.

Significant plot summary: Jay is on a personal quest to study the work of Doktor Improbable and try to continue it. He also is trying to understand everything about the Island.

Personality: Very rational, logical and shy 35). But Jay is a good kid, he will do anything possible to help people around, even go against his racional and logical instincts. Very curious and sometimes hard to understand.

Apparent characteristics: Tall, slender, pale skin, green eyes, black long hair usually pulled back in a ponytail. Three piercings in the top of the left ear, and two on thr right earlobe.

Skills: Physics and Quantum Physics knowledge, video-game reflexes, electronics knowledge, crazy creativity.

Do you really wanna KNOW MORE about Jay?! Then click here.


Background: Seemingly the only person certain of Joey's background is Joey himself, and he doesn't seem that sure himself. He's told several different tales of his life Pre-Island, and made plenty of references and allusions which, when added together don't quite match up, almost as if he's not got just one set of memories, but many.

Significant plot summary: Joey's been involved in several plots - most focusing on his own love life, but he dabbled in the Ex Libris venture and now that he has sorted out his romance problems by settling down with Shi he has taken on a new venture - The Knight's of the Decagonal Table.

Personality: Once a relatively loose person, Joey drank and flirted shamelessly, and yet tried always to help - a classic Rookie. He's been through a great deal since then, and certainly had bad spots, but he's now essentially the same person he was with less of the flirting and drinking. To summarize; foolish and kind.

Apparent characteristics: He's a kittymorph, chocolatey fur. He wears a tuxedo-esque suit, with white gloves - quite dressy for most kittys. It's topped by a black bowler with a feather in it visually like motor oil - black, but flashes with colours in the light. Perched on the hat also is a small twine crown, denoting his status rather metaphorically.

Skills: Can create cocoa related things due to an Improbability build up not doing anything generally. Crickling (changing dramatically ) is also from the build up. See Joey's wiki page for more information.

Johnny Dangerous

Background: Ex Special Forces36).

Personality: Quiet, Friendly

Apparent characteristics: About 6 ft., green eyes, short blonde hair, fairly nondescript.

Skills: Mastery of Orifices, Mild Telekinesis37), Running Away, Stealth

Warning! Johnny Dangerous's page is completely devoid of information38)


Background: This is Johnson. Was a theatre student. A singer in broken-down subways. Worked with small children, played with her food. A drifter. Was bent upon becoming a penniless artist when she walked through a door she wasn't supposed to walk through at the back of an abandoned theatre she wasn't supposed to be in. The first person she met was a Joker named Green. She tries not to tell that story often so let's move on from here, shall we?

Significant plot summary: Johnson met hairdressers, kicked people in kneecaps, comforted madmen and made friends with bakers. Joined GERM. Conducted Bryn and GK's wedding ceremony. She has a restaurant, now, four klicks east of Improbable Central. She also has an index of scenes.

Personality: Volatile. Friendly. Almost always friendly. Irresponsible and boisterous. Gung-ho, at once lazy and bursting with enthusiasm, she bounces through life like a hyperactive child on steroids, except when she doesn't. Honest and blunt and thoroughly amiable, except when she's not. Don't talk to Johnson when she's not. She hates drama. Likes flirting, when she's got someone to flirt with. Likes to win at arguments, particularly arguments with boys. Likes people. Always likes people. That doesn't change, even if everything else does.

Apparent characteristics: Looks like a boy. Short, skinny, freckled. Flat-chested. Grey eyes, face like an inquisitive triangle. All elbows and knees like a baby giraffe. The only thing feminine about her is her arse-length black hair which she keeps meticulously clean, braided and coiled under her cap. Oh, she has a cap. And a coat. It's made of green suede. Both may or may not have been stolen off a Joker, who may or may not have been dead. He may or may not have been called Green.

Skills: Honesty. A sharp tongue. A sympathetic ear. The ability to sew. The ability to kick you in the kneecaps. A hat that holds improbable amounts of things (mostly cake and hot chocolate). A bottomless stomach and the fastest metabolism in the world.

Jonathan Barbie

Background: Ms Jonathan is a bigendered person who used to run an underground tourist train until she was abducted. Had a normal, albeit sheltered, childhood, living in the boonies of Northern Canada.

Personality: Realistic, logical, a bit sassy (but terrible at comebacks), cool headed. Rather arrogant and bored most of the time. Not terribly useful with helping people. Awful at social advice. Can be kind, but only to good friends or complete strangers.

Apparent characteristics: Very androgynous looking, extremely average in size and build. Brown hair, brown eyes, very light brown skin. Absurdly small feet.

Skills: Outdoor survival skills (building fires, shelter). Good at spelling. Can weave a grass bracelet in under a minute. Great public speaker.

To learn more about this enigma, or even just for a few chuckles, click here

Jon Bishop

Background: Born sometime during the 21st century in Eastern Europe. Jon had to help raise his two younger brothers while his parents went off to war in defense of the country. They left him and his brothers in the custody of a friend of the family, an old Mechanist. As time passed, the conditions of the war worsened, and a draft was instituted. Originally, Jon worked mechanical repairs in a machine shop, But due to the need for rapid response, he was reassigned to be a combat engineer. Fearing for his life, he went into hiding, leaving his home and becoming a draft dodger.

Significant Plot Summary: Significant roles in the_twitter and the_heist

Personality: A coward. Clumsy. Avoids combat by any means necessary, and will generally turn to running if caught in a conflict. Can be found to be extremely nervous at times. Has many fears, but the greatest is of small mammals.

Apparent Characteristics: 6' tall, relatively thin. Brown eyes. Dark blonde hair, that reaches about chin level. No facial hair. Wears a white office shirt, with a green coat and tie. Usually kept untidy.

Skills: Mechanics/Engineering, Stealth, Running

Jon Titania

Background: What the fuck is all this future shit? This is cool but what the fuck? What do you mean you don't have computers?

Significant plot summary: You mean the slow break down of his physical and mental being?

Personality: Happy and kindly, likes to help how he can, a nervously young chap though, so don't try to have too serious of a playtime.

Apparent characteristics: He's damn tall, 6 feet 5 inches. Usually wearing gloves and goggles and covered in an unholy amount of working man's scars.

Skills: Quite a mechanic and builder, he is also quite talented in making small things like intricate jewelry.



Background: Kali has undoubtedly had many fascinating and exciting adventures. More importantly, however, he has had a very nasty crack on the head during his dropoff onto the Island, and thus cannot remember a thing from before he arrived. Presumably, sooner or later he'll figure out that amnesia doesn't actually work that way.

Significant plot summary: One of those people you often find doing very silly things in the background of other people's pictures. This natural inclination has broadened its horizons as necessary.

At some point, he had a profound disagreement with a very large amount of high explosives. Aside from a little bit of dead, this has not inconvenienced him overmuch.

Personality: Profoundly enthusiastic about most everything. Usually cheerful, occasionally manic, prone to bouts of sullenness and mordancy from which he is easily distracted. Given to cringing. Possibly an excellent conversationalist, but since most of the time no one can tell what he's saying it's sort of a moot point.

Apparent characteristics: Features could be described as “sculpted”, in that they look as if they were made by someone with a great deal of artistic vision but no talent to speak of. Skull features prominent metal plating. Magnificently disheveled at all times, carries a bag bulging with assorted scrap.

Skills: Kali is an astonishingly quick learner with a fondness for experimentation and building out of whatever he can get his hands on. This does not stop him from being one of the most singularly incompetent people on the island.

Due to a filing mishap, information on Contestant Dali is currently unavailable. We are sorry for the inconvenience.


Background: She lived a terribly dull life before coming to the island, and doesn't like to talk about it much. Since arriving, she has found both love and friendship, and is generally content.

Significant plot summary: N/A, involved in Kolojang's Research Institute for Sanity

Personality: Generally very outgoing and friendly, not always the brightest girl around.

Apparent characteristics: Always multicolored in some way. Clothes, fur, even as a robot she's made of crystal.

Skills: Getting along with people. Can do various things with her set of tarot cards when in joker form, otherwise not very good at anything.


Background: They don't seem to talk about it, but perhaps there just isn't much to tell. On the day their life changed, they went for a walk through an office block left abandoned post-EMP and paused to greet a stray cat there – or perhaps that's one of the memories the Network gave them. It's been a long time.

Significant plot summary: Plays small roles in bigger things, taking part readily in other people's adventures. As a novice Joker they folded a paper dragon and brought it to life, naming the creature Kagero; he gained independence and lost his wings when Kestrel briefly became human. For a while they went by the name Staniel, dressing as a rookie and getting crowbarred into a fledging clan, now disbanded. They're only just figuring out what, as a Joker, they can actually do.

Personality: Too tired to care as much as they'd like. Socially wary and inclined to avoid company more often than not, but around people they're typically warm, direct, friendly. Cracks bad jokes and occasionally flirts – rarely as a weapon, more often just for fun. More inclined to wound with words than fists, but not fond of either. Designated sensible person, much to their surprise.

Apparent characteristics: Unremarkable height, spare build, fair skin with a messy patchwork of scars and faded tattoos. Brown hair kept long enough to tie back; overcast grey-blue eyes, at turns soft and sharp, only rarely glinting green. Favours practical clothing, usually dressed-down Joker's finery.

Skills: A competent fighter most comfortable with a katana at their hip. Maintains a backpack of supplies and a toolbelt of tricks and safe locations. Sews out of necessity, cobbles together wind-chimes from grenade pins and scrap for sheer joy.

See Kestrel's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.


Background: Was born a human, but he was very lithe and agile all his life. At a young age, his parents died in an accident, which left him moving between foster homes until he ran away at 16. Ever since then he has lived a wandering life making ends meet as a handyman, until he was abducted and brought to the Island.

Personality: Carefree and fun, he lives in the moment because that's all he has. With such a transient past, the DK mind wipes don't noticeably bother him. Very affectionate in part as a result of his kittymorph form. He's unskilled at making friends because he has difficulty being serious, but he is loyal and would defend those he loves to the death.

Apparent characteristics: Tabby Kittymorph. Brown with three black stripes along the top of his head and down the length of his body. Also 3 black stripes on each cheek starting at his eyes and going diagonally down his cheeks. He used to have a robotic arm and tail. But they exploded during an incident not long after he turned into a Joker. As a Joker, he has kept the kittymorph form he had before. Full Size Avatar

Skills: Due to his trade as a handyman, he has exceptional skill fixing most basic things and can learn to fix complex things if given time and practice. Very observant and learns by watching.Also, due to his time as a robot, he is pretty good at fixing machinery that involves gears and is always looking for more parts and scrap to work on. His favorite hobby is carving. He almost always has a piece of wood half-carved and takes requests if you ask nicely. As a joker, his skill with carving has translated into an ability to shape basic materials with his hands, like a sculptor would with clay.

See Kikuru's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.

KK Victoria

Background: KK Victoria was born of an old, High-Blooded Germanic family of renowned Soldiers of Fortune. He's been fighting wars ever since he was released from the Great House, taking his preference to a Terror, one who made the battlegrounds he stood on into living Nightmares for the side who wasn't paying him to be there. His family orders have sent him here, to take part in this war as well.

Significant plot summary: Kai has been involved in a few of the larger plots, including the Consequences with Zolotisty and Sessine. He is married to a Joker named Lelila, who was the primary impetus for the assault on the Victorian Compound. There has also been an incident regarding his mental stability in the last season.

Personality: Kai is violent by both nature and preference. It isn't only that he was raised to fight, but he was born to do it. He doesn't take threats very well, even if they aren't sincere or backed up with reason, and has been known to act harshly on them, no matter what the degree. Outside of a violent stage, Kai is almost approachable. He's sometimes seen as even being childish to some degree, and enjoying in playing games and eating candy.

Apparent characteristics: Kai is seven feet tall, four feet wide at the shoulders. His skin is a dark Caramel sort of color, and his hair is a redder maroon. He's commonly seen wearing a heavy jacket or coat, sometimes even a dress shirt and tie. Occasionally, a t-shirt and jeans. He is very large and coated with thick, solid muscle. Has more scars than digits, and hooked claws from his fingers when his hands tense up that are close to a raptor's.

Skills: Renowned chef,39) a Crack shot marksman, a brutal fighter, a High class vocalist - ranging from mere workshop songs all the way to opera, and a skilled glass and iron worker.

Avoid, if violence makes you cringe.


Background: He is a Narrator, a storyteller whose tales have shaped worlds and influenced fate itself. None of that matters now, since the Improbability infusing the Island has made him unable to access those powers, an issue he has been attempting to resolve by becoming more Improbable. Odd as the logic behind that may be, it seems to be working.

Significant plot summary: He played a minor part in Consequences, The 'COME AS YOU AREN'T' Party and subsequent auction. He has helped the growth of furbles as a species and helped to create the Memorial in the Common Grounds. He was also a part of the battle to keep Gorbert from falling to Chaos, and played a minor part in his revival. In this season, he sparred against a literary figure and helped to free a contestant's mind from an invading Cryptic Questions Joker. Recently, he accidentally Manifested a soul-devouring demon and with some help was able to drive it off. In the process, he revealed the form he's been working towards all this time. Currently maintaining a presence in NewHome as part of the welcome wagon.

Personality: Quiet and polite, at least until he gets to know you. Then he's quite vocal (and still polite), which allows you to experience his archaic mode of speech. Likes to help “tell others' stories”. Enjoys philosophical debate, random acts of altruism, and root beer.

Apparent characteristics: A Joker again, and with this comes his usual silver top-hat (with a maroon hat-band), dark brown suit, maroon vest, white shirt, neon-green cravat, sensible black shoes, and metal left forearm, the result of some engineering by Rosin and a polite request to Horatio. He carries his cane under one arm and his deck in his jacket pocket.

Skills: Limited Narrator Powers (Manifesting characters, reading the “threads” of stories, avra kadhabra, spontaneous weaving), Alpha of Furble Herds, Advanced First Aid, Tranquilizing Spike/Needles, Lightning.

Read Kuroiten's story for MORE INFORMATION in his own words.


Background: Born: Bolton, Vermont, USA. Spent much of her youth hiking the mountains of Vermont with her family dogs. After the chaos of the EMP bombings, she started living in the wilderness, coming down to local towns every few months only for supplies and whatever news could be had.

Significant plot summary: Let's see how things unfold…!

Personality: Friendly, loyal, and willing to try anything once. Finds serenity in natural settings, and is easily flustered by any technology more complicated than a calculator.

Apparent characteristics: 5'4“, sun-tanned, scruffy black shoulder-length hair worn in a ponytail. Appears lean but sturdy. Much of her skin is covered with thin, sinuous tattoos. Always carries a well-worn backpack, mended with patches of mixed fabric. Perpetually smells like a campfire.

Skills: Calling wild songbirds. Animal tracking. Backpacking.

See Kyriakos - The Wiki for more information.



Background: Born: London, 1842. Highly prone to emotional episodes (occasionally detrimental to herself, and others around her) as an adolescent and young adult, spending many years in and out of mental institutions. Became the subject of a special study under a disturbed psychiatrist at the age of 25 and never fully recovered.

Significant plot summary: A key figure in both the episode of KK's feral rage, and the siege on the Compound. Also retrieved KK's voice from the wind. Can frequently be found at a great many parties.

Personality: Usually optomistic and exuberant, warm and friendly. Prone to quick and severe mood swings, though. It's been claimed that there's only room in her to have one emotion going at once.

Apparent characteristics: Five-foot-four, generally clad in her dark-red pinstripe Victorian walking suit. Auburn, shortish hair, very curly, and standard Joker-green eyes. Very pale.

Skills: Knitting, sewing. Wine connoisseur. Has.. unique properties of the mind.

See Lelila's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION

Lester Applewood Roquefort40)

Background: 41) When asked if he had a past, he simply replied, “It's none of your business.” Which could imply he's been into some seedy business.

Significant plot summary: If you do enough digging into his records, you would discover that he's been a sort of renegade cop. His judgement is quite “Final”, as in, all of the criminals he busted were extreme cases and were authorized to be killed by death of crime.

Personality: Lester is quite proper and all about being politically correct and is quite a buzzkill, despite what his background implies and the fighting he does. He really hates being messy. In battle though, he's an animal.

Apparent characteristics: He usually dresses quite fancily, despite what the Island throws at him.

Skills: Elemental Unarmed Combat, Elemental Sciences, Elemental Innovations (Inventions).

Lester/Ryushi's Lore Page in here!

Lukas Kalikaska(aka Comrade Lukas)

Background:Born in Rostov Russia in the near past. A University student/farmer/miner/freedom fighter picked up in Siberia to fight the war, pretty simple no?

Significant plot summary: no major plots but has been known to spectate or support GERM pranks, some big Romantic plot, or causing random Mischief around the island. was being hunted by a Soviet Teddy Bear some time ago.

Personality: Loyal to friends, crazy,skewed morals, thoughtful, mischief, trickster, a whole bag of fun but has a deep serious side

Apparent characteristics: A coyote mostly. Jet black fur, Blood red eyes, blue tear marks, and the traditonal Kossacks grab of the yesteryears. his Crimson scraf is also trademark, the Ace of Hearts marking on the back of his neck (compliments of Z)

Skills: marksmenship, knives/swords, Maintenance, trickery, Improvise!

things are actually spelled properly, GASP

Lycan DavenStrife

Background: This is his second time on the island he was here in another life and another time……this life he was a former Sgt. for the Russian Special Forces as part of a sniper team during the America-Russia war of 2035 he lost everything he had during the war…..afterwards he joined a PSC (Private Security Company)….while on the island he was bite by a Lycan and is now 7ft 289lbs with grey and white fur which cover up his scars and tattoo…he wears a locket of his wife he lost in the war.

Significant plot summary: Was part of Fishes story line years ago as Ghost.

Personality: Very protective of his friends and the ones he love, gently as a Lycan can be.

Apparent characteristics: His Steel blue eyes that seem to see everything, his gentleness with everything he comes into contact with, the locket around his neck a black patch of fur over his heart.

Skills: Skilled in multiple weapon systems, highly skilled in Hand-to-Hand, and CQB


Background: She used to be just your average gal. Of course the island tends to change people. It played a bit of a trick on her, as now she's possibly one of the most weird varieties of vampire out there, if you can even count this one. Fortunately for her morals, she doesn't suck blood, but instead has a growing appetite for fruit. See, she's not like most vampires, who can turn into blood-sucking vampire bats. When touched by sunlight, she instead turns into Pteropus Vampyrus, otherwise known as the Large Fruit Bat. But other than that she's mostly normal.

Significant plot summary: N/A.

Personality: Drawn to people, but a little shy in bat form because she is unused to it. Friendly and likes to laugh. Especially loves fruit in her new form.

Apparent characteristics: Bright blue, pixie-cut hair, expressive silver-blue eyes, tall but thin. Wears a tattered and extremely faded “black” t-shirt, along with dirty old khakis. Doesn't bother with wearing shoes. As a bat, her mantle is bright blue. The rest of her fur is dark brown. 1.5m wingspan, weighs ~2lbs.

Skills: Can turn into a large fruit bat at will. Heightened sense of smell, as well as vision, even in human form.

In case you want a better idea of what she looks like... (WIP)


Makiwa W.D.

Background: Makiwa has no more than a few fragments, fleeting images of his background.

Significant plot summary: Almost always has humbugs to hand. Used as an ice breaker mechanism.

Personality: Open, helpful and friendly.

Apparent characteristics: Makiwa is quite short and sprightly. Grins a lot.

Skills: Highly (un)skilled with charms and potions and natural medications. Good at curing warts.

A little more detail may or may not be available here.


Background: Eldest child of moderately well-off parents, she was kicked to the curb as soon as possible for causing too much trouble. She landed a job at a fast food joint and a slum of a tenement apartment. After a few years of this, Marly was close to a burnout and becoming a very bitter, cynical person. As soon as she was dumped on the Island, she decided to look on it as a second chance and is determined to be cheerful.

Significant Plot Summary: After opening her store and participating in a game of questionable accounting, Marly not-died and was Audited. Auditing on the island seems to involve ghosts, chains, and animated ledgers, finally resolved with the help of Stanlygirl and Ebenezer.

Personality: She's unusually cheerful, and always willing to help. With a tendency to be Silly and up for anything, she easily falls into whatever role she's playing.

Apparent Characteristics: Everything about Marly is short. Even her white-blond hair is short, and tends to curl a bit around the edges. She's usually barefoot, wears a short sack-dress, and is slowly acquiring clothes from other people, including a top hat and a very large coat.

Skills: Anything paper, especially origami.

Fold it once, and then flip it over, and DEAR LORD NOT A HAT.


Background: He once had a sorta normal life, kinda like life on the Island now, minus the killing and the monsters and the whole improbability thing. He can remember bit's of it every now and then, taking pre-war tech and trying to restore humanity to a fraction of it's former glory. His team brought back the tele's, and not soon after, he awoke here on the Island to the madness that Dr.Joseph Hawton created.

Significant plot summarization: He scours the Island for pre-war tech in his attempt to build a weapon that is strong enough to rid the world of Horatio, when his clan duties let him. In his travels he has searched only about a third of the Island, which hasn't given him much to go on. He helped bring Absinthe back to her space ship before she left and returned. He also waits to cross path's with WinterGreen again, she said she would teach him about her world.

Personality: He's quick to help a fellow contestant, if he can. He usally won't pick fights, but there are things he just won't tolerate. Happy go lucky, whatever happens, happens.

Apparent characteristics: He has three green notes following him around, usally has a “Green Dot” cig in his lips. He looks human for all intents and purposeses, except for the interface on the back of his neck.

Skills: Has a sense of forshadowing of events, a knack for fixing stuff and people, his combat skill is nothing to sneeze at either.



Background: Was an engineer before coming to the Island. Daft hand with a screwdriver.

Significant plot summary: The Great Unknown Mental Breakdown Associated with a Lack of Losers 42), in which meare suffered a complete shift in personality in mid seizure-coma while Shi watched43)44).

Personality: Amiable, helpful, and slow45) to anger. Shy unless he knows you.

Apparent characteristics: Aggravatingly grammatically unsound, kinda lanky.

Skills: Good at hitting things, finding things, drinking46), not dying, and eating.

It's me are a person! NO CAPS PLEASE!!!

Maybe Donovan Rourke

Background: The child of two immigrant Irish hippies, Maybe was born near Seattle. A vegetarian pencil-pushing office drone, the Island is the best and worst thing to ever happen to him.

Significant plot summary: Fun fact about Maybe- he's nuts. See, Maybe never hurt anyone back home, always held in his anger. Big mistake. Maybe, as it turns out, is a deeply repressed psychopath. He developed a false personality to deal with his anger, and when the Drive turned him into a very weak Joker, it only got worse.

Personality: Maybe is usually a gentle, sweet, staggeringly awkward fellow, a product of his upbringing. But sometimes, his psychotic nature shows itself, and he becomes a mocking, menacing madman.

Apparent characteristics: Rather short (5'4”), but very fit. Hides his short, messy black hair under a flat cap. Green scars run across his torso and neck, ending on his face. Once had blue eyes, but they now glow green. Sometimes stutters, legacy of a lifelong speech impediment. Light Irish accent that thickens when he's mad.

Skills: Cooking, woodworking, pottery, drumming, murder, arson, literary criticism.


Background: Born and raised in Paris, France. The only daughter of a contractor and a successful, high-end Fashion designer (Identities not disclosed). Grew up a tomboy, to her mother's dismay, and was working as a member of theParisian Fire Brigade at the time of her abduction from her small-ish yet well decorated apartment.

Significant plot summary: Nothing of real significance accomplished. Has been involved in many, many smaller, less consequential storylines, however.

Personality: Her mother always referred to her as a “strong personality”, and it's easy to see why. She's brash, reckless, a slave to whim and fancy, and a right prat when she wants to be.

Apparent characteristics: Her skin tone is a natural dark tan, her hair is black and her one good eye brown. Yes, one good eye. The -other- eye is clearly false, being solid gold and branded with a maroon coloured “M”. Usual attire consists of a black tanktop and camouflage cargo pants, as well as a terrible, terrible scarf and a blue Musketeer-styled hat.

Skills: She's become a decent marksmen throughout her three years on the Island, but aside from that, any notable skills have been kept under wraps.


Background: Merlanai cannot remember her life before the island, or if she even had one. Being the only Mystic on the island, she is kin to the Joker (which is evident in her elegant frame, glowing eyes, and improbable powers). She differs from the Jokers, however, in that she bends the improbability that she wields for the forces of good. That being said, her relationship with the Drive is still complex as it is the source of her power.

Significant plot summary: None yet.

Personality: Usually reserved and somewhat shy around a group she does not know, but will open up with time. A leader during crisis. Passionate and stubborn.

Apparent characteristics: Thin and tall with glowing, clear lavender eyes. Hair hanging loose down to her knees (it never seems to get in the way). She wears a loose white skirt and blouse.

Skills: Controlled High Improbability, Intuition


Background: A Bard of The Master, Merlin had just completed her training before arriving on the island. The youngest of the Augustus clan, she began the task of remembering the histories and stories of her country when she was very small. Closeted inside the Academy for so long with little contact of the outside world , she has been enjoying the freedom of the island during her stay.

Significant plot summary: Merlin helped create the sammich of love during Season 1 and has dabbled in a few other adventures here and there, but mostly she just practices her music or reads. There was this one book, though. Perhaps someday she will find it again.

Personality: Cheerful and friendly, much more so now that she is a kittymorph. She is always willing to lend a hand.

Apparent characteristics: Smallish with bright violet eyes, brown hair and an ever-present smile. Normally clad in a long grey skirt sprinkled with various patches, blue shirt, and a multicoloured scarf. Never seen without her satchel.

Skills: Knows a vast array of ballads, sonnets and other poems. Has written several poems in celebration of certain events. Also an accomplished bagpiper and harpist. Voracious reader.

See Merlin's Page for less information


Background: Once upon a time, Micha was a burnt-out, drugged-out chef for a historical re-enactment tavern in Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia. Crying children and irritated parents trying to instill a sense of Respect for History in their mewling offspring. The historical re-eneactors getting high in the kitchen walk-in just to deal with it all. Micha herself pretty far gone, running from her dealers, burning the biscuits. She still struggles with an addictive personality.

Significant plot summary: Micha's still here. Somehow.

Personality: Gregarious, with an easy approachability that serves her well. A well-developed sense of schadenfreude, though she tries not to be rude about it. She loves to drink and get rowdy, and is fond of off-colour jokes and terrible puns. Unfortunately prone to mothering other contestants.

Apparent characteristics: Micha looks to be in her mid to late 30's, with a wild shock of salt-and-pepper curls. 5'8, big hips. A lopsided grin, frequently employed. Something about the eyes is a little crazy.

Skills: Scavenging together Island-sourced ingredients for fine cuisine. Distilling improbability into her home-made hooch. Missing the point.

Wiki Page is Forthcoming

Miss Hellebore

Background: Before the island, Cozen Hellebore was a docent at Madame Tilliwig's Museum of Oddities, Flim Flam, Really Interesting Things and Generally What Have You. She had no family, no real friends, and no common sense to speak of. The only talent she ever had was leading tourists through the museum and speaking bald lies about the attraction within.

For no readily apparent reason, on an otherwise entirely normal day, Miss Hellebore found herself here and has since gone out of her way to pretend that there's absolutely nothing strange about that.

Significant plot summary: Cozen doesn't really enjoy being a contestant. Fighting monsters, seeking out Horatio, it is all too brutal. Too unpleasant. She really wants to go back to her previous profession as a docent. But Mr Stern won't hire her, so she's taken it upon herself to build Improbable Island's first oddities museum out of an old, abandoned house.

Personality: Proper, ridiculous, and prone to needless adjectival descriptions, Cozen Hellebore is ultimately only one very silly woman. Surely nothing important, dangerous, or interesting can come out of the truly silly.

Apparent characteristics: Cozen isn't very remarkable. Her hair is an unruly mess, topped by a small and ugly top hat. Glasses perch at the end of her long nose. She carries a parasol and strides about purposefully.

Skills: Punctuality and a particularly rude wicker picnic basket.

Further triflings.

Ms. Oddity

Background: She used to be a pilot, or so she says. Maybe she even flew the plane that dumped your nude self onto this island in the first place. Or maybe she simply likes to add some story to the pilot's goggles that constantly sit on her forehead. No one really knows as she outright refuses to talk about herself. Though, the Jungle welcomes her like an old friend and she's often seen in the background, hidden in camouflage, watching silently while cradling a bag of mementos from her past; a feather, two marbles, and a silver locket with names engraved inside.

Significant plot summary: That girl. She's always deliriously searching, so much that her fingertips stain black. She wanders here from there, looking everywhere from the cracks in the walls to the oceanside for…something. If you dare to ask why, and she chooses to answer you, she whispers “Zenith” before she moves on.

Personality: Miss Oddity is named so for a reason; the most prominent angle of her personality is her lack of consistent personality. Aggravated by some and mollified by others, she can turn from a leaderless rogue to a quiet, shy thing in an instant. About as stable as the Island weather.

Apparent characteristics: Dark hair that reaches to her waist, ramrod straight and often lifted by the wind. 5'3. Eyes of indescribable color, and a small yet angular face. Changes her outfit every other day; evidently wearing whatever she has found laying around. Cleans and touches her pilot's goggles obsessively

Skills: Skills redacted. Unknown, and never observed openly. Although, she does seem to disappear and reappear at times, though that may only be her quiet nature.

Mr. Infrablack

Background: Like nearly everyone else, he just showed up one day without any warning. Since then he has spent almost all his time watching everyone else go about their business. Or that's how it seems to everyone, since he's so average-looking and forgettable that you have to keep him within your field of vision in order to remember anything about him. While this strange phenomenon seems like it could come in handy in numerous ways, the island has yet to fall prey to anything more serious than eavesdropping, horribly bad puns, and long-winded tall tales. Well, for now at least.

Significant plot summary: While he has yet to initate anything of importance, he's an avid voyeur who spends most of his time eavesdropping on others. Sometimes he'll choose to actually get involved in somebody else's business whether he's wanted or not, but only if he feels that he could somehow benefit from such an activity and its outcomes.

Personality: A perpetual voyeur who's constantly eavesdroppping, he has minimal respect for privacy or personal boundaries. Tending to come off as very nonchalant and enigmatic, he uses his near-nonentity status to his advantage and tends to be somewhat surprised when others speak directly to him. He's fascinated by the island's Jokers.

Apparent characteristics: He claims to have blond hair and green eyes, but his appearance is so average as to seem nondescript. The only things that stand out on him are his mirrored aviator sunglasses, slightly battered top hat, and bronze pocketwatch.

Skills: His appearance is so superaverage that people forget he exists when he's not in their field of vision. All other skills are unknown for the time being.

Mr. Infrablack is not very keen on giving out info about himself, but has his own wiki page anyway.



Background: Her background is a mystery to all, and even to her to an extent! Get close enough and she may reveal her discoveries to you!

Significant plot summary: Trying to get over her fear of water!

Personality: Cute, bubbly, optimistic and vivacious, Nadya will do anything for a friend and expect nothing in return. She loves steak, flutterbys, chocolate milk, and her family -the Carters- more than anything!

Apparent characteristics: In her human form, she is 5'7“ and has palish skin, with a long fluffy white tail that is tipped in brown and spotted black and caramel in chunks. She has long dark brunette hair and white calico ears that poke through.she also wears a long grey t-shit with a yellow frowny face on the chest. She is a very cute Kittymorph who can always be seen smiling. In cat form, she is a solid white with brown socks and brown and black patches all over.

Skills: Can morph between cat and human form at will. Strong sense of smell.Can pluck a bit at the harp, but nothing extravagant. She's very good at cooking! Well, throwing things together and somehow having it come out tasting like a miracle. Perhaps because it IS a miracle! Also: CHEMISTRY!



Background: Unlucky bastard47), and Veteran of two Brutal wars.

Significant plot summary: Not Much, Really. Pops in every once in a while48), but nothing really Big.

Personality: Friendly to a Fault, despite his appearance. Follow a few simple rules, and you'll Get along Famously.

Apparent characteristics: He's a tall, scar and Tatto covered grey eyed fedora wearing man with very sharp teeth. He's not exactly going to blend into a crowed now, is he?

Skills: Gun smith, close quarters combat, Ranged Combat, first aid, engineering, Crafting, scrounging, generally making things hurt. Also, gardening. Seriously.

Click Here for access to Neeip's Complete file.


Background: He honestly doesn't remember. Or rather, thanks to Horatio, he remembers multiple, mutually incompatible backgrounds. He is adamant that he has never, ever, been a hairless monkey though.

Personality: Quirky, loves to play games. Except when he doesn't. Few social skills but likes to socialise. Except when he doesn't. Very feline, really!49)

Apparent characteristics: Four arms. Generally a Panthermorph, although when in other forms there's usually something 'kitty' about him.

Skills: Carpentry. Bouncing, pouncing and flouncing. Chasing leaves. Grenade juggling. If asked, he'd also claim singing.50)

This page is a waste of time and resources. But that's Not for you!



Background: Ochris was raised by a combat surgeon, making herself useful by carrying bandages and putting pressure on wounds since she could walk.

Significant plot summary: Ochris has mostly been keeping out of trouble, but there is always something brewing. She carries a small sphinx in her backpack and talks to it on occasion.

Personality: Not a rugged adventurer or dogged survivalist, Ochris is a shy, awkward, optimist who is afraid of many things but can generally be counted upon to face those fears.

Apparent characteristics: No matter her form, Ochris is on the smaller side. She generally has a short blonde mohawk and blue eyes.

Skills: Some medical training, as well as the ability to blush deeply and duck out of the limelight.

See Ochris' wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.


Background: Before coming to the Island, Oddity was homeless, wandering the streets of Oklahoma City. His memories of life before the Island are still sharp, but his memories of a time before homelessness are all but gone. He's been alone so long, (and taken a few dozen whacks over the noggin to boot,) that he can't even remember his birth name, and must go by Oddity.

Significant plot summary: Odd's greatest adventure on the Island to date is the birth of his blob-like pet, HGB. Born from a vile form of alcohol known as Something Nasty, the little blob initially tried to eat Odd's face. But with the aid of Kestrel and Nathaniel, Odd managed to contain the creature, and convince it he meant no harm.

Personality: Often charming, pleasant, and warm, Oddity is an old style gentleman. The kind of older person you could imagine playing checkers or chess at the corner cafe.

Apparent characteristics: An older person in any form, Odd wears wears a corduroy bathrobe instead of armor, and carries a sentient purple blob on his shoulder. Aside from his age, Odd is unremarkable.

Skills: The only unusual skill Odd has is the ability to change genders. Unfortunately, he has yet to learn to control it.

Odd's WIKI page may contain a great deal more info than anyone cares about.

Optyk (Amon L'armie)

Background: -waves a manilla folder in front of you- “Do you need this? You don't need this. You think you need a background, but you really don't.”

Significant Plot Summary: -opens the folder and reads the first page inside- “What…what is this? No no no, you don't…there's nothing here for you to see. Really. You're fine without this, too.”

Apparent characteristics: -continues reading, looking concerned now- “I look. Normal. How often must I tell you, I am perfectly normal for my age. I'm not even that old, not really! Twenty-five is a lovely young age!”

Personality: “Are you…?” -continues reading, mouth agape in disbelief- “I am most certainly not 'Difficult to please!'” -reads further- “And what's all this about “melodrama?!” Offensive, purely!”


“Oh, well the got the part about management right, they did there, yes. Well done.”



Background: Before coming to the Island, the aptly-named Paranoia was a budding necromancer, scientist, and evoker of. . . dubious skill. Her three major attempts at casting spells have resulted in changes to her appearance: the first changed her left eye from brown to purple for some reason; the second gave her a few blonde streaks in her hair; and the third, an attempt to summon the Cattle-God Hathurscurial, gave her an embarrassingly large bust. Now that she's on the Island, she might as well engage in further experimentation and occultation. Who knows? Maybe she'll get lucky this time.

Significant plot summary: Paranoia is new to the Island, and as such she hasn't done much yet.

Personality: True to her name, Paranoia is wary of those around her. Due to her interactions with the occult and super-scientific, she's conscious that not everything is as it seems. Despite this, she tries to be friendly and welcoming, but her eccentric and inquisitive nature can be off-putting at times.

Apparent characteristics: Paranoia has lightly-tanned skin from spending time on the Island. Her hair is light brown, with a few blonde streaks randomly scattered about. One eye is brown, the other purple. Her breasts are a cartoonish 99 centimeters. She is currently clad only in a pair of frilly pink panties.

Skills: Somewhat well-versed in literature of all sorts, but when it comes to putting theory into practice she's. . . negligible, at best.

Paul Lo

Background: A partly-trained mud adept botched an invocation to turn flesh into mud; his own warped 'earthform' got hurled into a paradox. . . The next time he arose was under a different sun. Being given a somewhat new visage and set of clothes, he took the path that fell on him; making experiments and testing the possibilities given by the surrounding soil, he began to enjoy the Island and its charm. He took another form that he calls HareJoker, or something like that, after a week of meditation in an undetermined place.

Significant Plot Summary: During Season 1, he participated in the creation of the sammich of love and made an appearance (sort of) at M*A*S*H 404.

Personality: Silly, mischievous and/or seemingly serious. Can turn from a fluffy and childish jester to a full-fledged creep in a short amount of time; he has been called insane but harmless before.

Apparent Characteristics: Tall white-furred humanoid with hare-like features, most striking ones being the face and long ears. Clad in an dark earth-toned victorian tuxedo and wears an assorted tophat, his hands are hidden benath a pair of gloves and feet inside a pair of leather shoes.

Skills: Earth 'magic', sculpture and other crafts that use minerals or vegetal life.51). Not being understandable.
(Not so) Casual facts about Paul Lo there.


Background: PCee was born as a prince that fled to the island for a reason that he can't quite remember anymore.

Significant plot summary: The Prince has been involved in a few incidents, including returning Ferryn from her bug form to her Joker form. He also participated in a caper with Xane to defeat Carmen San Diego. And most proud of all he a gunner on the proud ship of the Jackalope.

Personality: Pace is very light-hearted and does his absolute best to be helpful. Since returning after his long absence she has been very flighty and often drifts off into space easily.

Apparent characteristics: Pace goes through many physical changes but his hair is a constant. Always black in the back with white bangs. He usually dresses in a very “emo” style that clashes greatly with his personality.

Skills: Prince PCee has been called one of the best marksman on the island…but only with his pirate weapons, his aim with an Uzi isn't accounted for. He also has a very green thumb, but only when it comes to plants that are made of candy.

For records on the prince search here.


Background: Modern day Viking, though not what you might think that is. Want to know more? Go ahead and ask, you might just get an answer.

Significant plot summary: Will get updated as he goes on adventures on the Island.

Personality: Honesty is a valued trait to him, though he is relatively closed off. Friendly yet cautious; he may seem quiet, but if you are able to becomes friends with him, you will have a shield brother for a long while.

Apparent characteristics: 5 foot 7 inches tall with lean muscular build with a scar over the right eye. Hair is black with two white stripes(one on left side one on the right). Has brown eyes, bright and attentive. Wears glasses.

Skills: None that he would know of as skills.

The Proffessor

Background Former professor of something at somewhere. Doesn't know exactly. Knows a lot about lots of differrnt subjects.

Significant plot summary: Is helping Xith to build an observatory.

Personality: Has lots of knolwedge. Not unwilling to share it, if you ask him. Will also ask others, if you comes across something he doesn't know. (Mind you, that's pretty unlikely.) He is generally mild-mannered. This does not mean he isn't dangerous. He can be walking along and kill someone in passing.

Apparent characteristics: He's clever.

Skills: Pretty much everything, apart from insulting others.

See cage for more infomation.



Reks Uni

Background: Background's bit patchy, probably needs a wash too.

Significant plot summary: None whatsoever, but stay tuned anyway because we want your money.

Personality: Quiet, good listener. His personality is still developing.

Apparent characteristics: Rather average. 5 feet 8 inches tall, pale skin, thin frame, fit, but not muscular, blonde hair, unnaturally ice blue eyes.

Skills: Marksmanship, cooking, swimming, running, daydreaming.

Absolutely Nothing to see here... except Reks' bio


Background: Born as Regina Eveline Verb, daughter of an Oxfordshire family. Due to a moderately harmless administrative error, she got stuck with 'Reverb' instead.

Significant plot summary: Reverb has been in action during the Ex Libris events, mainly managing to make an utter fool out of himself52) on several occasions, including a rather spectacular barrel-race through the Common Ground. Fun times abound. Her mutable personality and GERMhood have seen her be Dorothy Gale, the Queen of Fables, the hallowe'en special Rotten Reverb, and several other things besides. We'll blame Bernard.53)

Personality: Friendly, (un)focussed, and irresistibly drawn to to everything from Robots to household appliances, Eveline will do everything it takes to reach her (often utterly impossible) goals. Her job with the Network has only added to her area of interest, especially insofar as Ashtu's Anarchists are involved. Lately, her focus appears to shift somewhat to avionautical endeavors, which led to the creation (and most recent destruction) of the A!RPLAYNE, posibly the most dangerous way of flying since the wings of Icarus. She's already drawing plans for the mk2…

Apparent characteristics: She has a bio description. Go read it. It's the only part of her documentation that stays up-to-date.

Skills: A proficient tinkerer in electromechanics, and as such the mastermind *ahem* behind the Bingo Hall wiring scematics.54) She prefers to think of herself as a suave and undetectable rogue when she's up to mischief, but that's probably just because nobody has had the heart to tell her otherwise yet. She still believes a warped kind of logic applies to the island, and, really, who's to say she's wrong here?

If you really need to know more, have a go at Reverbs severely incomplete and by now outdated Wiki Page. Trust me, you're better off not knowing whats in there.


Background: Rohvannyc served aboard a large and very well armed starship as the First Officer of that vessel. He did quite a bit of paperwork when he wasn't helping kick the crap out of various interstellar threats. One day, searching for a good leave port, he found himself naked and unarmed on this very island. Various twists of Improbability have granted him a large feathery set of wings as well as a few other enhancements. He is best of friends with a shiny black cat with yellow eyes, who is an Avatar of Basement Cat. They hang out a lot in Rohvannyc's Tree.

Significant plot summary: No plots yet but he's done a lot of wandering, fighting, and reinforcing. He's mostly kept to himself- so far.

Personality: Quiet, taciturn, serious, helpful. Tough on the outside but with a very warm and generous heart on the inside. He will flirt outrageously but is deeply devoted to his wife, Rashanah.

Apparent characteristics: Big gray and black wings. Bare torso, brown skin. Leather kilt with metal studding. Huge boar spear. Black hair done in a flat top you could land starfighters on, craggy features.

Skills: Use of boar spear. Major carpentry. Flight, though that takes a lot of meat. Uber 7337 paperwork skills.

See Rohvannyc's Wiki page for more information.


Background: Escapee from an island much the same as the one she currently inhabits, Rosin was a lab-grown living weapon who's sole purpose in life was to hunt. After an assassination mission she couldn't fulfill she fled from her former military and fought against them until stealing an untested technology that tossed her here.

Significant plot summary: Ranging from Pilot to Season Two, Rosin has been a minor part of many plots. Founded the Wayfarer's Gambit.

Personality: Normally rather cheery and lighthearted, though very dangerous when angry. Dislikes lies, tries to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help her Horatio Entwhistle.

Apparent characteristics: Average of height and curved of build.Jaw length abominably curly rust-red hair. Gleaming green eyes. Large black feathered wings.

Skills: Can run Ridiculously Fast, fly55), play stringed instruments, craft from metal or wood, and cook in large amounts. Also fond of weapons.

See Subject 08-1-03's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.


Background: Rusalka grew up in a small city on a big lake, in a large house with a lot of cats, which when she was eighteen became a small apartment with considerably fewer cats. A young university student putting herself through college, Rusalka studied mathematics and physics and never really paid attention to the Improbable Island television show, with it's whacky antics and crazy monsters. She couldn't afford a TV, anyway, especially not one of those clunky post-EMP ones, and though she watched it occasionally with her aunts, Ruska was hardly convinced of its veracity until her door was kicked in and she was kidnapped and dropped out of a fucking plane.

Significant plot summary: Ruska started out as a human in Newhome, just like all the others. She died killing the Improbability Drive, which most certainly did not sadistically reanimate her, because the Drive has no sentience and thus cannot be sadistic. She is beginning to have strange dreams, especially during the full moon.

Personality: Rusalka is cheerful and practical, even dead. Though her first drive kill has sobered her up somewhat, she is still friendly and determined to understand the nature of Improbability.

Apparent characteristics: A zombie with dry, cracked grey skin and a killer grin. Her once-keen grey eyes are covered in milky film, but she persists in wearing a pair of cracked wire-rimmed spectacles. Her hair is short, shaggy, and dark teal.

Skills: Very smart, learns quickly and easily picks up new skills. Good at travelling, camping, quick fixes, and math. Light on her feet during the battle and quite charismatic.

Nothing new here...


Background: Rykar was a computer security expert, and a bit of a hacker, dabbling in security both phyiscal and electronic. He doesn't remember anything post-EMP, though. Might be he lost his memory, or came straight from that time.

Significant Plots: Rykar has become the official unofficial official Train Man… spreading rumors about an event, informing contestants, and generally knowing far too many things about Improbable Railways. Developed a friendship with the Peddler.

Personality: Rykar's curiousity gets the better of him occasionally, and he tends to be either playful, very playful, or dead serious. Or… a bit mad. Actually, more than a bit mad, if you set him off the wrong right way.

Apparent Characteristics: A grey, tabby kittymorph. Slender and athletic, though he dresses more than most kittymorphs do. Can be found in black, pinstriped slacks, usually a black-and-navy fedora, and sometimes a silver and black dress shirt. Flaunts a bit, even if he doesn't mean to.

Skills: An avid climber and traceur, he can get around any outpost with extreme ease, as well as pretty much anything else. He still remembers his 'extralegal' skills from before the island.

If you want ACCURATE and CORRECT details, here's his page.

Ryushi C. Hiryuu

Contestant Confirmed Dead



Background: Used to live 'somewhere else', but is very tight-lipped about where. Worked as a thug-for-hire, assassin, stalker, informant for whomever paid up. Spent time living with a Dragon clan.

Significant plot summary: Is trying to get off the Island anyways he can, and not letting Improbability affect him in any way. Repaired a good section in Carter's Cottage after the last island-wide Demolition.

Personality: Mixed to confuse. Ass, charming, snarky, sneaky. Generally aloof. Doesn't outright lie, but might sometimes twist his words to make a lie true.

Apparent characteristics: Green scaly skin, 6', goat-like horns, wings, snout, green fire launched from his mouth.

Skills: Sneaking around unseen. Ambush tactics. Infiltration. Information gathering of all kinds. Can glide, but can't fly. Assassination. Firearms handling. Knows how to make small toy 'trick' devices, as well as cracking bigger puzzles.


Background: She used to be a blacksmith in the post-EMP era. As far as she can remember, she used to live in a lovely town and was quite skilled at smithing. Someday, her hammer slipped out of her hand to land on some random guy's face and the next morning, she was on the plane.

Significant plot summary: Friends with Doubleleaf. They both try to escape this crazy Island, the first step being “know your ennemy”. She wanders around the Island in search of answers and a bloody way out.

Personality: Shakku is joyful, altruistic and friendly. Her clumsiness makes her look prettier than she is. She has a great sense of adventure and is -a bit- too curious.

Apparent characteristics: 5'5” Red haired woman. Golden brown eyes. Musculated body. Many scars on her arms.

Skills: Apparently none, besides of her great strength.


Background: Professor of astrophysics with additional background in virology. He was brought to the island via an event involving his evil look-alike's academic arch-rival, a copy of the Necronomicon purchased on e-Bay, and an unfortunately-timed sneeze.

Significant plot summary: Before his disappearance from the Island, it was revealed that he was, in fact, merely an imaginary friend made real by the Improbable Forces of the Drive. He is currently missing presumed dead wherever the blighter is, he ain't here, y'fookin' tossers gone for good and not coming back.

Personality: Friendly, optimistic, quiet, a rare breed of not-completely-mad scientist.

Apparent characteristics: Records (comprised of a few fading photographs and footage reels that appear to have been gnawed upon by confused zombies) indicate that Shiloh was an androgynous white-haired Joker of short stature.

Skills: Astrophysics, virology, mad science, and painting.

Shiloh's records appear to have vanished along with him


Background: (Sloppy) pre-EMP AI-Human combination. Basically grew up in various labs as a quasi-captive, both as research subject and researcher. Showed (expectable) significant mental instability even before choosing to be kicked out of a plane.

Significant plot summary: Severe instability of personality, inducing quite the handful of more or less drastic changes. Minor part in the Skidge Wars, the Ashen Harlequin (AI part) disaster, one of the numerous S1-ending plotlines.

Personality: In flux. Made up originally by the human Sicpuess and the early AI Harlequin, now indistinguishable. Can and frequently does modify her own mindset. Usually personable, though often somewhat reckless and commonly keen on amusement and information.

Apparent characteristics: Squirreljoker! Of leptosome build, she is tall and deft, but spindly to a point usually considered unhealthy. Intensively teal eyes, metal gloves and fluffy red tail are dead giveaways.

Skills: Learns quickly. Engineering, especially with clockwork, AI and nanoscale mechanisms. Rather experienced with Improbability. Precision. Jack of many trades.

Further information restricted - Continue? Y/N


Background: An unstable character with a shady background who was interrogated by mysterious men, and somewhat later was shipped to Improbable Island. He suspects his being kidnapped was no random lottery event. Some bodies may have been found. Or supposedly-confidential psychiatric records. Or somebody squealed. 56)

Significant plot summary: Has kept a low profile on the island, other than notifying residents of Titan sightings.

Personality: Strongest traits: curious, quick to judge & act, fond of exotic persons (even comfortable with the outright alien). Weaker traits: bold, optimistic, expedient, sensitive, slightly lazy 57). Drive Kills may be eroding mental & emotional stability.

Apparent characteristics: Big-domed mutant, with quite an array of sensors. Light brown hair with almost no visible gray. Wears glasses and a plain black fedora with a rainbow hat-band. He is usually found in whatever jungle-fighting armor he can get.

Skills: Military Intelligence (field & analysis; technology recovery), monster hunting, fighting, escaping, wall reinforcement, confusing insults. Enhanced intelligence.

See Sillie's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.


Background: Not an outcast, but a happy introvert. Sink spent a lot of his early life playing in the high mountains, swimming in lakes, wrestling with bears, all that kind of stuff. Transported to the Island to bring in what the network described as “one of those Ray Mears-types, y'know, good at survival and stuff”, he lasted out Season One and has been brought back for Season Two. With not so much an imagination, more multiple personalities, Sink seems to thrive on the improbability of the island.

Significant plot summary:
Sink was an integral part of the mass-hysteria episode which during Season One turned Cybercity 404 into a Korean War-era M*A*S*H Unit. Acted as a guard dog during the creation of a certain Sammich. Organiser of the Beltaine party.

Personality: Which one? The Stray, his most prominent personality, is of a happy-go-lucky bloke who has somehow become lycanthropic. He is friendly to everyone, except for the odd bad hair day (which for a wolf is a serious thing.)

Apparent characteristics: Well, he's a wolf, for a start. A werewolf, technically, but most of the time, just a wolf. Always friendly, Sink is often found singing or playing blues or folk music in one of the hostelries on the island, or in the Common Grounds.

Skills: Makes a mean cup of tea. Mixes martinis pretty well. has an awful sense of humour. Plays guitar, banjo, mandolin and sings like a strangled crow.

Potter over there and we'll sort you out a cuppa.


Background: There is only one who knows Skidge's background aside from Skidge herself. And he isn't talking.

Significant plot summary: After many years and many incidents involving the strange, sometimes mischievous, always destructive force colloquially referred to as Murphy's Law, Sarah “Skidge” Murphy vanished from the Island with nary a word to her husband, adopted clan-family or friends. At first, it was assumed that she would be back, as she was well-known for her wanderings and equally well-known for her reappearances. But as time went by, her name slid inexorably from “missing” to “presumed dead” to “dead”.

However, certain mysteries continue to surround the creature known to the Island as Skidge…

Personality: Bubbly, friendly, huggy, bouncy, swirly, dancey, scruffy, disorganized, distractable, self-absorbed. Easily bored, but just as easily entertained. Stole any book that wasn't nailed down. Personality made a major shift in the time leading up to her abrupt disappearance.

Apparent characteristics: A scruffy little creature in a bowler hat, whose eyes gleamed the same shade of purply-pink as her chatter, which was either happening constantly or not at all. Her hair had bits of metal braided into it; her vest had been patched so many times it was actually all patch. Walked with a limp towards the end.

Skills: Inconclusive level of control over Murphy's Law, increasing over time until nigh-complete. At which point she vanished.

See Skidge's wiki page for possible updates.


Background: Sloth is pretty tight-lipped about his past, though if you were a fan of mime artistry before coming to the Island, you probably would have seen him on stage.

Significant plot summary: Sloth hasn't done anything significant in his life and intends to continue this trend.

Personality: Very friendly, almost always happy. Possibly (probably) insane, but not in a bad way! Polite, always happy to help or offer advice, though his advice may not always be sound. He holds the opinion that everything is a joke.

Apparent characteristics: Sloth is noticeably shorter than average. He has dark hair, somewhat long, in the style of a 19th century british poet. Bright blue eyes, when they don't happen to be glowing green. Wears Victorian clothing, and has a truly magnificent top hat. Sloth (almost) always has a grin on his face.

Skills: Acrobatics, an excellent sense of timing, surprisingly good at building (well, he's surprised, at least!), dancing, lying.

Soloman Grundy

Background: “Grundy is grundy! Grundy's back not round. You give grundy money or grundy crush you like ringless Green Lantern.” From lore, Grundy was a corpse imbued with mystical plant energy to become a walking protector of nature when something went wrong. Being this is improbable island, its just as likely he was a tree which died, and rose again as a zombie tree which then gained humanoid form.

Significant plot summary: On the island, Grundy has been conspicuously uninvolved in plots so far. Hopefully. Was present when the Murphy Skidge passed and helped fight the subsequent paradox demons.

Personality: Grundy has no personality per se. To say he has the IQ of a moist towelette would insult moist towelettes everywhere. He wants something, he takes it. But he has no idea what he wants. While being prone to violence, he is not grumpy or mean. Has odd bouts of random insight and wisdom. Is looking for something to sate his hunger.

Apparent characteristics: Tattered clothes, vacant expression and the fact that hes over 9 feet tall and weighs over 900 pounds are usually noticed first. He's a giant walking pale white corpse. Despite the lack of need to eat or breathe, he is none the less fond of steak.

Skills: Grundy is a 9 foot zombie with the IQ of mayonaise. He doesn't have skills, he's a people person.

Risk a journey to the slaughter swamp for MORE INFORMATION.


Background: Born during the time of Forbidden Poetry and Painting, and a child of a (suspected deceased) Cobalt Carrier (and suspected addict). Family-less and on the lam her entire pre-Island life due to a chunk of Cobalt Aluminate lodged into her right hip, and a cast of characters featuring an over-zealous Psychotic Social Worker named Vera, and various Authorities, Pigment Dealers and an Academy of Artists. Spent four years being trained by the Academy in the Classical tradition in painting and drawing. Escaped, and after being kicked out of a number of schools, she drifted – educating herself in libraries and underground repositories. Dex was last seen leaving a Punk and Crew-affiliated squat in the City with her mates NoseJab and Miriam. They think she's just moved on.

Significant plot summary: One of the two instigators of events in the Tiresias Reels, where Spandex, her wife Zolotisty, and two close friends learn what happens when you try to undermine the Network. Earlier, she featured in a Joker Coming of Age story featuring 8 Symbol-Lessons taught by 8 Jokers.

Personality: Large. Honest-but-wily. Curious. Ardent. Whip-smart. Prone to quick judgement and easy laughter. Not-so-secretly a romantic. Overly protective of small creatures, underdogs and her island family.

Apparent characteristics: Comparisons to Hewlett's Tank Girl would not be mistaken since she's adopted this as a purposeful disguise. Tall, strong and scrappy-thin. Sports an overgrown cobalt-blue floppy mohawk, the forelock tied in a pretty ribbon. The striped patterns on her thigh-high striped stockings are her over-arching i-ching reading.

Skills: Has become a skilled Improbablist using emotional and experiential word associations. Has developed understanding of I-ching reading using symbols on her stockings and cards. Extensively trained in hand-to-hand and knife combat. Uncanny ability to throw.

Network file here.


Background: Not much is known about Spark's upbringing; to ask her is to receive a litany of lies on the subject, occasionally interspersed with seeds of truth. Recent discoveries have brought to light the facts of her genetic parentage, identifying her positively as the abandoned daughter of Island denizens Sarah “Skidge” Murphy (missing, presumed dead) and Aloicious Johnathan St. James, an AceHigh wallguard.

Significant plot summary: Newly Jokered and having discovered a long-lost blood relative in the person of Aloicious, Spark has been slowly undergoing an evolution of both character and abilites. Where this will lead is as of yet unknown.

Personality: Perennially dishonest, wary, questioning, perky, changeable, curious, ultimately composed of distrust tangled with a burgeoning respect for other Island denizens. A thief. Bad at lying, bad at storytelling. Avoids physical contact with others. Has no use for friendships, family or emotional entanglements, though this has been subject to recent change. Has a weakness for stories and lost things.

Apparent characteristics: Small, dark, large eyes that glow Joker-green, mad hair that spoufs in all direction and closely resembles an explosion at a lab in which angora rabbits were habitually experimented on. Wears a coat that is three sizes too big for her, going raggedy at the edges.

Skills: Lockpicking, an affinity for and ability to find lost things and people, occasional and uncontrolled sideslipping into alternate dimensions, occasional and uncontrolled ability to render self unnoticeable to normal means.

Records forthcoming.


Background: Born in the early 1950s, Stan was raised by an unmarried Hawaiian-Dutch woman she calls 'Mother.' Mother was a beatnik-communalist-survivalist, a RN and MD. Quoted from Mother, “If you have to pay for something, they've got you by the balls. Learn to make it or do it yourself.” Stan was in the USN for 20 years. In 2011 she was put into cryo-stasis because of incurable cancer. When cancer was cured, she was 'thawed.' Her treatments ended just hours before the EMP bomb. Stan was taken from her apartment and delivered to the Island the usual way, late in Season 1.

Significant plot summary: She met Hermein when he found a puppy trapped by one of his devices. They quickly became friends and Stan was devastated by his death quite near the end of the Season.

Personality: She is generous and helpful. She is willing to suffer fools, up to a point. She tries to mind her own business, but generally fails if she thinks she can help somebody. Believes good manners and good language skills are important.

Apparent characteristics: Has red-brown hair and green-hazel eyes. She is short, just 5' 1-1/4“ and fit and trim. In outposts, Stan usually wears a Victorian walking suit, a Franzsin alpine hat, and a cameo pin on a ribbon around her neck. In jungle, she wears khakis and her hat and carries a driftwood staff.

Skills: Bakes, cooks, spins, and weaves. Can do basic first aid. Knows a little about many things having to do with 'making your own' and 'doing it yourself.'


Background: Pre-EMP bommings, Stranger was somewhat of a physics Geek, also interested in early video games. These are the key reasons he became a regular viewer of season one of the Island, being abducted into it mid season 2. Post EMP left him scared enough to toughen up enough to become a desirable candidate.

Significant Plot Summary: With even his name drawn from video games58), mostly uses his involvement in the Island to live out his hero fantasies, which continuously get more insane with more Improbability exposure.

Personality: Primarily liking to think of himself as a gentleman hero, he tends to act polite, yet clearly projecting readiness to face trouble head on. His old geek tendencies have left him on the smart and cunning side, which means he rarely strikes without warning or reason.

Apparent characteristics: Very much a noob at present, Stranger is still Human. As such, he has few distinctive traits in this area. About 170cm, 20 years old, plain face, dorky haircut, slight amount of muscle not seen often thanks to his rags and armour.

Skills: Treason and lies, various Island critical skills, mechanical tinkering abilities, being charming, and bludgeoning improbable creations with weapons.

An open invitation for all the ladies to know me better(wink)


Background: Ran away from home in his late teens, traveled the world before being dropped on the Island.

Significant plot summary: Is a friend of rookies, and a generally helpful person, spends most of his time giving advice and aid.

Personality: Quiet, reserved, and loyal.

Apparent characteristics: Tall and muscular, wears a maroon Chef's coat and black cargo pants. Dark hair, green eyes, warm smile.

Skills: Pyromancy, skilled as a chef, enjoys tinkering with machines.

If you want to know more, visit his page.

Syd Lexic

Background: Syd was a student, studying mechanical engineering. He enjoyed reading comics and drinking coffee and avoiding washing dishes.

Significant plot summary: No big plots, however, he built a crude tub-mobile for Edith when she was a mermaid. Gotta stay hydrated, y'know. The tub has since been… retrofitted by others. Oh! He also makes maps. and yes, he knows they need to be updated. He's working on it.

Personality: Likes to smile, grin, and laugh. LOVES tea. Quite often in search of a cuppa.

Apparent characteristics: Pork-pie hat, rectangular glasses, goatee. Usually a kitty at one height or another.

Skills: Minor mechanical skills, plays many instruments at a basic level, loves doing fake accents, but not in public.

Sydney Fletcher

Background: Born in British Columbia, Sydney moved around quite a bit as a child, especially following the EMP detonation. After being pressganged onto the Island in the usual manner, she eventually joined The Wayfarer's Gambit, and has put her pre-Island life behind her.

Significant plot summary: Struck with an incurable wanderlust, Sydney spent several months traveling alone across the Island and under it, completely out of contact with everyone she knew and cared about. Upon her eventual return, she has taken to repairing an old lighthouse and has tacitly determined to make a few changes in her life.

Personality: Affable and laid-back, with a penchant for pranks and a streak of spontaneity coexisting alongside a deeper sense of responsibility. Equally happy to be with friends or alone, she is occasionally struck by moments of deep depression, which she only knows how to deal with by traveling.

Apparent characteristics: Usually appearing as a Joker, Sydney's on the petite side. She sports chin-length curly brown hair, a pair of glasses, and dimples, and prefers to wear a pinstriped vest over a plain white shirt, with practical trousers and well-worn boots. A book or two can always be found in her pockets or knapsack.

Skills: Tuba-playing, dessert-making, and hopscotch

Here's an old yellow paper you might find of interest


Background: A former college student, Szi got dropped on the Island after signing up for a “research project.” Her many tinkering hobbies come in handy on the Island.

Significant plot summary: Just arrived on the island, but already at the center of drama.

Personality: Fiery and spontaneous. Very playful, and often flirty.

Apparent characteristics: Attractive, but nothing stands out. Long black ponytail and grey trenchcoat.

Skills: Resistant to fire. Loves to tinker, and is good at making gadgets.

Take another look at her, why don't you?



Background: Talon, which is, obviously, not his given name, was, as he called it himself, a network ninja, before being abducted to the island. He had an apartment full of geeky tech-stuff, a japanese robot cat and a cactus, called Darwin.

Significant plot summary: None, except for a small bet with Mercury.

Personality: He is a fullblown geek, curious about the island and the Drive, socially a bit awkward and outrageously scared deep inside. He has no idea himself if he's still completly sane.

Apparent characteristics: He is about 5'11”, slender, pale and not especially muscly. Short black hair grows wild on his head. He has blue eyes behind thin, yet strong glasses with a mate black metal frame. (For slight differences based on present race, see ingame biography)

Skills: Skillset of an average geek plus network technician, unorthodox problem solving and drawing.


Background: Teague was a robotics engineer Pre-Emp. Naturally, he was devastated by the EMP… until he found out he was smart enough to do the same work for the military. He only got partially done with the first robot, built from the ground up, before he was abducted and thrown onto the island, for reasons he doesn't even know.

Significant plot summary: …Considering how long Teague's been on the island, I probably should have something here. I don't remember any huge plots he's been a part of recently enough to remember, but he should've been a part of something big…

Personality: Teague is as much a doer as he is a thinker, and is very analytical, creative, good at problem solving, and hard-working. Tends to attribute odd or strange things to improbability to stay sane. And it works. For him.

Apparent characteristics: Teague changes too much from form to form for there to be any general characteristics that you can pick him out by. The two most reliable indicators are his voice, and his personality, neither of which change much between forms.

Skills: All kinds of engineering, varied combat skills, depending on the form, natural leader, creative thinker, and impressive self-restraint.

See Teague's wiki page for more information.

Note: There are currently 2 Teague's running around the Island. There's Teague, and then there's Future Teague. You can guess which one's which. They're similar enough that his narrator is only leaving up this note to indicate that.

Teh and Dave

Background: Former Engineer, worked for the US Government on several Top Secret projects. All files missing post-EMP. Also a hat.59)

Significant plot summary: Helped Save Christmas!

Personality: Friendly, helpful, mostly outgoing, and slightly mischievous. Enjoys caffeine just a tad too much at times.

Apparent characteristics: Usually looks like a KittyMorph. Wears a pair of cammo cargo shorts when human, Has a jaunty gray Fedora60) and a white lab coat with the word SCIENCE! written above the left breast pocket. Also a black Tungsten Carbide wedding ring.

Skills: Welding, electronics, soldering, some metalworking, computer programming. Basically, building with unnatural materials. Ask him about his JetTrike

Perhaps this might shed some light on something or other?


Background: She came from Oregon?

Significant plot summary: Don't ask, please.

Personality: Bright, bubbly, and adventurous.

Apparent characteristics: Young, small, brown hair, black cowboy hat.

Skills: Puns. No, really.

Historically Inaccurate


Background: Was a steam engineer, was just about to finish his studies when he was abducted and brought to the Island. He barely remembers anything of his past due to an overdose of the sedative he was given to transport him here.

Significant plot summary: The Director. Killed twice during that plot, both times by the same person.

Personality: A nice person with a very rigorous sense of right and wrong. Quite hard to get angry, but goes off the deep end when he does.

Apparent characteristics: Two scars upon his neck made by a certain Jokers vorpal blade. Cat eyes, tail and teeth.

Skills: Hellequin Mask, grants him the ability to dissociate himself from any emotions he wishes, effectively turning him into a sociopath.

Peek into Trex's autobiography.


Background: A simple wine cork from a simple bottle of wine.

Significant plot summary: Was given to a Kittymoprh for cranial first aid, was bashed out of said cranium in Squat Hole, was carried to Improbable Central by a crow.

Personality: Plucky.

Apparent characteristics: Has a smiley face drawn on. Also a black smudgy bit that looks like a cape.

Skills: Relentless positivity.

Trotsky Wiki


Background: A construction engineer and former marine plucked from a desk job and dropped on the island.

Significant plot summary: Builds, fights, etc.

Personality: Friendly, caring, level-headed, likes a good challenge.

Apparent characteristics: 5'-10“, 30-ish, long blonde hair, mustache and goatee. Typically wears a blue three-piece Victorian pin-striped business suit, white gloves, a black bowler with a blue band, and steel-toed boots.

Skills: Handy engineer, builder, and tinkerer. Ordained minister, too, allows him to perform simple marriages.

See Trowa's wiki page for SOME INFORMATION.

Tyler Durham

Background: Born Jason Tyler Durham, he was living the relatively simple life of a young, single man just free from college. That is, up until he went home drunk from a night out, fell asleep in his nice, comfortable bed, and woke up naked in a field.

Significant plot summary: Tyler is still pretty new to the Island, and hasn't had time to get into much trouble yet. Just give 'im time.

Personality: Generally a genial sort of person, willing to try to get along with anyone. Seems perfectly ordinary and sane, however has also been known to be, while generally harmless, completely off his rocker. Occasionally, though rarely, violent. Shows signs of schizophrenia, listening to things that aren't there, or talking to or about people that don't exist. Easily distracted and sidetracked even when otherwise apparently sane.

Apparent characteristics: Tyler is the sort of guy that, ordinarily, tends to get overlooked. He's cute enough, he's a nice guy, but he's also that guy that never seems to be more than Just Friends with the girls. He has a gently charming smile, hazel eyes, and hair that can't seem to decide whether it's actually brown or just a dirty shade of blond.

Skills: Photography, chemical knowledge, ability to make firecrackers from scratch.

See Tyler's wiki page for LESS INFORMATION.


Background: Tyr remembers nothing of his life before the island, but he used to be a techie for a small theater. He liked baking treats for the green room.

Significant plot summary: Tyr built Ebenezer and Marly's store. He has a booth on the Failboat where he serves cocoa and tea. He was formerly married to Silcatra. Is currently mad for badges.

Personality: Loyal and gregarious, though oddly shy at times. Quick to grin, and has a tendency to greet all situations with humor, even when not appropriate.

Apparent characteristics: Messy brown hair. Grey eyes. Scar on the left side of his face. Favors Victorian formal wear in shades of grey. Usually wears his sleeves rolled up. His top hat is conspicuously absent. Followed by a fire-breathing wallaby named Finn.

Skills: Making cocoa, brewing tea, building structures. Generally good with wood.

Come this way for funny-shaped marshmallows and more info!




Background: First he was a monster, created by the Drive. Next he was a bipedal contestant, half what he was before, half something else. Then things got real interesting…

Personality: Rather silly and quick to decide his opinion of others.

Apparent characteristics: Nine feet tall. Six arms, but the four on his back are spider limbs.

Skills: Fighting, weaving, tracking, escaping, and observing.



Background: Born in western New York, USA, he is uncertain of why he was brought to the island considering most of the staff is British. He was never a fan of reality television and so ended up learning about the island first hand.

Significant plot summary: Not much at the moment.

Personality: Uncomfortable in social situations.

Apparent characteristics: Excessively thin, fair skin, dark brown hair easily mistaken for black, dark grey eyes. Speaks in an accent indicitive of the Northeast United States


William Harrowton

Background: In a word, orphaned during his life before the island. Adopted by a librarian before being forcefully taken here.

Significant plot summary: He's currently adjusting to his new life on the island, which may or may not be faring well.

Personality: Sweet, caring and clever, also loyal to his friends However, very shy, quite clingy, clumsy, withdrawn and fearful.

Apparent characteristics: Seemingly combed white hair61). Big blue eyes. Tends towards the more neutral colours. Patches on his trousers show shades of violet.

Skills: Running, hiding, climbing, writing. 62)

See William's Page here... come on, Will, don't be shy...


Background: Doesn't remember her past. Probably some indie art student in Canada.

Island Background: Has been married twice; has been a kittymorph, a tiny cat, a butterfly-morph, and a Joker for quite awhile, now back to human; had a horrible incident resulting in her death; returned to life. (See more in Wikipage)

Personality: Silly, spontaneous, short attention span, loving, sometimes shy

Apparent characteristics: Light brown, curly hair; golden eyes; smooth, fair skin; 5'2

Skills: Drawing, painting, climbing trees, throwing shoes, antagonizing her husband


Will Stronghammer

Background: Much of Will Stronghammers past is unknown. Some say he was born under the rule of Richard the lionheart in Scotland, Some say he was delivered to this planet by strange beings…… But thats improbable isn't it?

Personality: Will tends to keep to himself as if he's hiding a great pain, although sometimes it explodes into pure rage…

Apparent characteristics: not much can be seen under his dark robe but it is rumored that he is 5'11 with reddish blonde hair, wears glasses and in good physical condition.

Skills: Hand To Hand, Running, Climbing, somehow able to understand all technology, and is a master at staying hidden.



Background: Xane came to the island near the start of season two. As a human he often challenged people to riddles and other such things. Due to a case of Improbable maggots when he was a zombie, Xane became a Shapeshifter known as a Xenomorph. Soon enough after that, he became a Joker, than a Pooka. Damned improbability.

Significant plot summary: Xane played a small part in the end of the Murphyskidge, and helped strengthen the Fifth Wall. He also owned a chocolate factory for a brief amount of time.

Personality: An amiable and quirky fellow, quick to make friends and tell a joke, although not without his mischievous side. He will forgive almost anything but direct violence to him or those he cares for.

Apparent characteristics: Xane looks like a classic Joker, his clothing made of many shifting colors.

Skills: A talented and creative shapeshifter, a half decent bartender.

Find your way over here and pick up a drink. <code>


Background: Has a degree in meteorology obtained Pre-EMP. He came to the island along with his weather rock which he refused to give up. It was dropped out of the plane on top of him when he arrived, midway through season two. He became a zombie after he killed the drive, and has mostly stayed that way except for a stint as a midget and a short return to humanity. He has also obtained a mini-cloud63) that hover several feet above his head and is semi-sentient. He and the cloud have a rocky relationship64).

Significant plot summary: Xith's weather rock that he carries everywhere morphed into obsidian, and started exhibiting strange signs. Bob Zarido and Buddleia helped him test it and they determined that it predicts the short-term weather changes. Soon afterwards, Xith and Budd were hit by a lightning strike65) which severely wounded him. He barely managed to defeat the drive, but it did restore him mostly to health.

Personality: Xith's personality is usually pleasant. He's willing to go out of his way to help out people, especially if they ask him nicely. He does wish to be thanked however. He likes to be silly sometimes.

Apparent characteristics: He's got Blue66) hair, dark brown eyes. Stands about 5 and a half feet tall, and has fair skin. He's in his mid twenties, but looks a bit younger. Usually wears khaki cargo pants and various tee-shirts.

Skills: Meteorological knowledge, Personal cloud, Ability to interpret his weather rock, Boy Scout training.

That weather guy's Wiki page




Background: On 7th March, 2072, David Abraham wrote, We threw ten dice, which came up nine sixes and a seven, and then five zeroes and five nines, and then ten ones and a Z.. When that die was cast, Zolotisty was snatched by the Drive from nineteenth century Russia and yanked onto the Island. Originally one of Pavlov's dogs, she spent the next twenty years wandering the Island as a dog. By the time the Network took over the Island, she had been exposed to enough Improbability to manifest as a Joker with distinct canine characteristics.

Significant plot summary: Z's an auditory synaesthete67) with the best hearing on the Island – but she's also a reckless gambler with poor decision-making skills. Notably, she gambled her hearing on a whim during a dice game with the Wind and lost. This led to various consequences, including eventual (now dissolved) marriage. Z is easily wrapped in the affairs of others, and not infrequently serves as a teacher to other Jokers.

Personality: Everything Z has learned about people, language, and life has come from the Island. She's clever and a quick learner but also very naive in many ways. Instinctive; volatile; a strong, loyal leader. Cannot stand cheaters or liars. Unpredictable.

Apparent characteristics: Taller than average and spare of figure, Z wears Victorian menswear and isn't diligent about keeping it up. She has fangs, fixed claws, a brushy tail and pointed ears; always goes barefoot. Speaks with a low, hoarse voice. Yellow-green eyes.

Skills: Supernatural hearing; sleight of hand and gambling; acrobatics (parkour); stringed instruments (violin-family but primarily the viola). Talented Improbabilist, especially where music and Improbability collide.

See Zolotisty's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.


Background: Zpatula is an 86 year-old pensioner from Slough. He was kidnapped from the bus station after a visit to the candy shop at the mall. Being dropped naked onto the island has improved his life considerably.

Significant plot summary: Zpatula befriended an old robot who used to work in The Abandoned Factory in Cyber City 404. The old robot got himself crushed down to toaster-size by someone who didn't want him talking. Rumor is that Zpatula has a set of blueprints to The Factory, but fears for his life. He has been avoiding Cyber City for some time now.

Personality: Quiet, and prone to being a little too helpful. May wander off without advance notice. His current hobby is leaping out of the hedges in Common Ground to pounce on recent arrivals and teach them 'Timed Fighting'.

Apparent characteristics: A bit over five feet tall with a stoop. Bald with a full white beard, a squint (lost his wire rimmed glasses), suspenders, and a palm-frond hat on sunny days. Talks to himself. Dentures don't quite fit. On cool days, wears a grey button-front sweater knitted here on The Island.

Skills: Zpatula can sniff out turtles at distance up to two kilometers. Some say he can talk to them. Remembers some of the commando training he had back in 'The War'. Expert at 'Jungle Gastronomy'.


Background: Zrenija woke to find herself in a completely foreign land of technical gizmos like cameras, grenades, and chainsaws. The former leader of a dark-ages criminal syndicate, she was once a master of illusions and deceptions, but now stumbles around the Island trying to stay out of trouble.

Personality: Though once a criminal mastermind, Zrenija's cunning is belied by her sweet, caring personality. She is quick to laugh, host a tea party, and offer consolation after the Plastic Bag has suffocated you for the fifth time today.

Apparent characteristics: Short, purple-haired, milky-eyed and completely blind.

Skills: Patissier of the highest caliber, tea-party host, supplier of vodka.

See Zrenija's wiki page for MORE INFORMATION.

It's incomplete because not everyone contributes to the Wiki.
Also, some of these characters are dead.
Yes, many are still infesting er, contributing to the Island!
For a midget.
Except feckin' stupid television jingles.
This was before the 'no wings' guideline was created.
And that's about it.
She was right.
isn't it shiny?
Because he can't be on the side with Orcs, Orcs are Evil
more colloquially known as “The side that isn't shooting at you”
But will only do so given permission. This includes Keys to dimensional pockets.
Sorry for the edit, the wiki's spam filter insisted. -Beeps
Not friends, just friends. She's way too shy to make those kinds of friends.
she's usually off in the jungle or spending time with Dizzy somewhere
or not
her favourite pastime
A silly place. Don't even think about going there.
Which is just as well–she'd probably eat him alive. Literally. Besides, isn't Epaphus supposed to be shacked up with Foilwench, a character from the Pilot and Season 1 who got laid off when the Season 2 implants were redesigned? I wonder if she ever revealed the location of the fabled 90KV Stun Gun of Eternal Killing? Last I heard, Epaphus and Foilwench built a castle together near Cyber City 404, with a scenic ocean view and sleeping room for eight in the public foyer.
If his decisions ever turn out wrong, well, he is also a master of disposing of the witnesses.
Rather like curry. Which he rather likes.
This has given rise to a distinctive posting style, similar to the rows of heads on stakes that used to line Roman roads. Fear of freezing in the Soviet snow. One eye on the winter. Oh, there's just a hint of Soviet snow.
You try fitting this loon into a serious plot, it's harder than it looks.
especially when booze is offered
Alongside a mutant carp but that's another story
long story, see wiki page
this shall never be explained
Due to the time-travel, he put a stop to them
If you were to cough, sneeze, hiccough, swallow, and hum the first few bars of “The Star Spangled Banner” at the same time, you'd be nowhere close
Though, that'd be a neat trick!
Honestly, why does everyone say “race”?
Because most of the races can interbreed. The robots felt left out, but their're technically not even alive either.
He often darts away from people suddenly with little warning.
36) , 37) , 38)
Though it might be spicey
Under Development
or The GUMBALL debacle
and helped
She also caused it, but…
moderately slow
How Unlucky? Lets put it this way. He considers the Island Relaxing.
Nosy bugger
Although others would say: Nuts. period.
Don't believe him!
Landscaping and house-making
She was a guy for quite some time after arriving on the island, but has been restored since.
And now Marly.
You know, the ones that can be read as a dirty limmerick in japanese if you rotate them 43.7 degrees to the right.
she has wings, remember
Or, he imagined it all.
from the player's 23-trait personality system
Specifically Mist, released in the 1990's which he was particularly fond of
59) , 60)
That would be Teh
Although it isn't natural
You tend to get good at the first three when one spends most of his outdoors time running away from things.
Named Strife.
The only other person Strife wants to follow seems to be Buddleia, for some reason
Budd was a robot at the time. It fried sensors and speech, but gave her a surge of energy which she claims to have enjoyed. Rykar connected to her and shared a little bit.
Yes, blue. Go read the bio or ask him in character about it.
She associates sounds and leit-motifs via sight and touch.
meta/history/characters/player/list.txt · Last modified: 2023/11/27 15:56 by kuhsodas