Sheila

“Looks positively dishy on ye, love.”
- A lie that's good for business

Sheila (not to be confused with her sister Sheila, Sheila, Sheila, Sheila, or Sheila) is one of the six arms dealers who have set up shop on Improbable Island. She also claims to be from Australia but I dunno man that doesn't sound like a real place to me.

Sheila's Shack o' Shiny's shopkeep stocks suspiciously sharp shweapons and seriously stylish sweaters in splendiferous supply. Tired of punching monsters in the nude? Scrape some req out of a camera, limp into her shop, and she'll hook you right up with a spork and panties. Yes, even if it's two in the morning. War waits for no-one.

Sheila knows the best way to make money is to never question the bizarre fashion tastes of contestants. You want to swing a cat around like a flail? That's ain't any of her business. However, even she's got limits. Sheila will refuse to sell you a weapon or buy your gear off you if she thinks doing so would shred what few scraps remain of your miserable public reputation. Read up on favor for more info on that.