The <GERM> Bingo Hall, Dunbernarding Wing

Location: One klick due north of IC

Owned By: <GERM> Dunbernarding Tourist Information

Come to beautiful Dunbernarding; a great place to visit and you won't be able to leave

Whether you're a high powered businessman who just loves meetings (and of course a world-class assortment of biscuits); a dizzy woman who just loves to shop; an elderly and decrepit couple who just love to swing; why! There's something for everyone here!

Come and sample our great food in one of our bars, or even in the cafe; come and dance the night away in our magnificent ballroom; visit the peaceful loveliness of the local village or sail a pedalo around our enormous man-made loch.

No matter if you're overweight or too skinny; no matter if you're even a mutant* you'll be welcomed with open arms by our friendly, professional and cheerful* staff members/

We have won awards for our stately home; Island Vogue Magazine described it as “A bloody.. .(marvel). The architect must have been quite.. .(visionary). We spent a very happy couple of hours trying to find the exit.”

Not to mention our grounds! These beautiful and well manicured facilities mean that you can come and partake of all the fun of the fair! Or perhaps you're more keen on real ale, or the latest arts and crafts or even the latest thrilling fun rides!? What about spending long, leisurely afternoons in our maze; or go and heavy pet some animals or even bees?

No matter what peculiar tastes and predilections you may have, you can find a willing hand, a new friend, or even branded latex gloves here at Dunbernarding. And! If you're looking for a certain someone, they may be in our extensive tunnel network, hiding.

Competitive rates available on all our rooms (except Phyllis' suite)

Children and pets welcomed.

Why not speak with one of our friendly call handlers to discuss your special needs, they'll be sure to lend a sympathetic ear!

NB We cannot accomodate children as pets.

E&OE

• Squats not welcome
• Arms or testicles tentacles

We cannot be held responsible for depressed staff members

• ditto