Titles

That thing that precedes your character name in the chat channels, and that every NPC insists on repeating too for some reason.

You can set your title manually by using a Title Change Document from the Super Fancy Fun Club. Or, if you'd prefer your title to be something worth bragging about, defeat the Improbability Drive a bunch of times. Your rank on the show changes every time you do!¹⁾

Title	DKs Needed
Rookie	0
Contestant	1
Returning Contestant	2
Civilian	3
Contender	4
Citizen	5
Private	6
Lance Corporal	7
Corporal	8
Sergeant	9
Technical Sergeant	10
Master Sergeant	11
First Sergeant	12
Warrant Officer	13
Second Lieutenant	14
Lieutenant	15
Captain	16
Major	17
Lieutenant Colonel	18
Colonel	19
Brigadier	20
Major General	21
Lieutenant General	22
General	23
Improbable General	24
Major Badass	25
Lieutenant Badass	26
Badass	27
Notable Badass	28
Extreme Badass	29
Chancellor Badass	30
Prime Badass	31
King/Queen Badass	32
Emperor/Empress Badass	33
Improbable Badass	34
Royale Badass	35
Royale Badass with Cheese	36
Royale Badass with Special Sauce	37
Lord/Lady High Badass	38
Lord/Lady High Badass Supreme	39
Impressive Lord High Badass Supreme	40
Grand Master/Mistress Badass	41
Grand Master/Mistress Badass of the Number 42	42
Grand Master/Mistress Badass of Fury	43
Grand Master/Mistress Badass of Rage	44
Grand Master/Mistress Badass of Big Explosions	45
Grand Master/Mistress Badass of Most Awesome Destruction	46
Grand Master/Mistress Badass of Improbability	47
Lord/Lady Elevated Badass of the Gods	48
Grand Lord/Lady Elevated Badass of the Gods	49
Transcendent Grand Lord/Lady Elevated Badass of the Gods	50
Transcendent Almighty Emperor/Empress of Improbability with Holy Cheese and a Side of Badass Fries	60
Bloody Showoff	70
Bloody Ridiculous Showoff	80
Ludicrous Over-Achiever	90
Someone'd better buy a custom title for	100

Below this line, there be lies.²⁾

Title	“Unlock” ““Method”“
Master Nomologer	400
The Wizard of Noms	400
The Watcher	1,000,000
Admin	1,000,000²
Mom³⁾	1,000,000³
Full Metal	50 Bastards
Lion	Sneaky Bastards
Squat	Thieving Bastards
Derp	The one and only
SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw +1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw +1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw +1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw +1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw +1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw +1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw +1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw +1!	At 385 characters,⁴⁾ this was the longest title (im)possible.⁵⁾ Awarded for breaking the Island in a very specific way after one's 40th DK. This title was only possible to achieve from 2016-06-13 to 2017-07-08,⁶⁾ and was only held by Full Metal Lion.⁷⁾⁸⁾

¹⁾

At least until we run out of nouns.

²⁾

Or are they truths? :O

³⁾

Hi, Mom!

⁴⁾

longer than the chat character limit!

⁵⁾

Its evil twin, “SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw -1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw -1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw -1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw -1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw -1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw -1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw -1SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw -1!”, is just as long

⁶⁾

though if the title was achieved in that window, it could technically be held indefinitely, as long as one avoided changing one's title

⁷⁾

Though most of the time he went by 'Like a hundred “SpiderKitty Launcher with Integrated Chainsaw +1”s! Full Metal Lion' in order to avoid the wrath of the other denizens of Banter

⁸⁾

Quote from CavemanJoe upon seeing Full Metal Lion don this title: “How the fuck did you do that.”