By way of explanation: This was composed over the course of ten minutes at four o'clock in the morning, with the help of a random adjective-noun generator and sleep deprivation.

More of a poem than a song. But not by much.

Evil Cerberus of Evil
(Damn you, Dan!)

Frustrating Orb of Unlocatability
Fruitless Fiend of Searches
(Damn you, Dan!)

Stable Dragon of Instability
Inactive Coronet of Activity
Disconnected Devil of Connectivity
(Damn you, Dan!)

Fatal Fairy of France
Sadistic Swan of Sweden
Deciduous Dog of Dance
Hungary Hippo of Hethen
(Damn you, Dan!)

Feasible Elephant of Repeatability
Middle-Class Chimera of Originality
Secondary Catapult of Inferiority
Clustaphobic Periscope of Ad hoc infinitum
Diabetic Chupacabra of Antideterminism
(Damn you, Dan!)

Shocked Actor of Respect
Lost Chest of Tourette
Underground Hat of Correct
Short-term Pants of Select
Excessive Mushroom of Perfect
Irradiated Battery of Errect
(Damn you, Dan!)

Secular Angel of Guilt
Realistic Moose of Torment
Lost Lamb of Yoga
Moving Demon of Riot
Modern Maid of Facility
Happy Orb of Despair
Underground Hat of Flotation
(Damn you, Dan!)

UncomfortableShoeofRabbit
IrritatingDanofQuests
ExcessiveMushroomofReputation
HelpfulBatteryofPrinciple
CausalBombofBoom
TropicalCycloneofViolence
TalentedMetronomeofAmusement
ValuableCookofOperation
lengthlygiraffeofprogramming
faithfulhenofspectacle
frozenfeministofnarrative
delightsdltracooonofwquota
isoloatedgremvboioftry
marinedranfgoofphotography
indusortalastrounautoftexytboolk
weookkjujacoplosofweservation
werththfthjyfjcckivliAHHHHHH….
(Damn you, Dan!)

THE END

(Disclaimer: Any resemblances to real or imagined creatures, items or Dans is purely coincidental. The actual quests are neither as painful, nor as ridiculous as this depicts them. Also Dan is actually a nice guy. The real Dan, that is. The bartender Dan is still a jerk.)¹⁾²⁾