Masters

We could list the dojo masters for you here, but then we'd have to kill you. So, on the whole, it's probably better for you to meet them one by one in the dojo.1)

We can say this much - there are fourteen, two from each of the Island races.2) And..

Oh.. all right. If you insist. Here they are:

  1. Human, male: Tom Carney - sock full of marbles3)
  2. Zombie, female: Felicia - rotting fists
  3. Kittymorph, male:4) Kouska - fangs and claws
  4. Squat, female: Tiffny Figg5) - switchblade
  5. Mutant, male: Amir - poetry
  6. Robot, female: ADDIE - tazer
  7. Joker, male: Will Thompson - glowing green ace of clubs
  8. Human, female: Emma Blackman6) - riot hammer
  9. Zombie, male: Clairvius - severed leg
  10. Kittymorph, male:7) Vitoleone - Granny's knitting needles
  11. Squat, male: Devvo - Budget Horse's Tail
  12. Mutant, female: Effie - evil ventriloquist dummies - eight of them8)
  13. Robot, male: Reventlov - lightning gun
  14. Joker, female: Anne Bassett - service revolver
1)
They won't kill you.
2)
For an account of how this current bunch displaced the standard LotGD masters, see: Old Masters.
3)
Oddly, Carney wields a sock full of marbles instead of the standard Sock full of Marbles. This was likely just a small oversight.
4)
Or possibly female, accounts differ.
5)
Hair pulled back tight in a bun, big gold hoop earrings, heavy mascara. Swears and spits. Always chewing gum.
6)
Sexy and dangerous.
7)
This tough old tom is definitely male. Has astounding ways of using those knitting needles.
8)
Fighting those things is bad enough. You really don't want to know what they're thinking.