===== Coffee =====
((This entire page is a [[meta:concepts:lie|lie]],))((Maybe.))An object available for buying and selling at [[places:outpost:building:eboys|eBoy's]]. It is one of the three goods available to sell for [[items:cig|cigarettes]].((The other 2 are [[meta:items:sugar]] and [[meta:items:tea]].)) If you do not sell coffee for a long time, a caffeine addict(( <del>caffeine addict</del> <del>perfectly normal person</del> [[meta:history:characters:player:list#ashtu|Ashtu]]))((coffeecoffeecoffee . . . I'm fine now. *deep breath* Fine.)) will ambush you in the [[places:jungle]] and [[meta:concepts:stealing|steal]] all of your coffee and [[items:cig|cigarettes]].((He steals the [[items:cig|cigarettes]] to buy more coffee.))((Yeah, he has a problem.))((So do I, but that's called [[meta:history:characters:player:list#ashtu|Ashtu]]))((But that's okay, everyone on this [[places:ImprobableIsland|island]] has at least one [[meta:game|problem]]))((You clearly have a lot of [[characters:monster:lion|problems]] if you still haven't sold that coffee.))((Sell it already, or the caffeine addict will take your [[items:cig|ciggies]]!))((If you value your [[items:cig|ciggies]], sell your coffee right away!))((If you do not forward this page to five other [[gameplay:concepts:contestant|contestants]], the caffeine addict will steal your //[[meta:concepts:soul]]// as well as [[items:cig|ciggies]]!))