====== Implant Reference Chart ====== These are (more or less) the choices your character will be faced with upon entering the [[places:outpost:building:implanthut|Implant Hut]]. ===== Newbie Implants ===== New contestants ('[[gameplay:classes:newbies|newbies]]') can request one of two types of implants: * **N-221(C) Brain Chemistry Regulator (COMBAT-TUNED)**: Known colloquially as "Chemical Pack." An implant that injects chemicals into the contestant's bloodstream for various affects - stronger attack, stronger defense, or regeneration.((This is a particularly useful implant for [[gameplay:classes:robots|Robots]] and Gobots, who cannot be healed by normal means, since it allows them to speed up their natural regeneration.)) The regulator charges up faster while you are injured.((This makes it a poor fit for contestants in powerful clans. Or not.)) * **JAMESON SA-232 IC for Spatial Awareness**: This implant enhances the contestant's senses, allowing improved searches for requisition coins after a fight. More experienced contestants can employ it for enhanced physical effects. * **UPALLNITE(TM) Sleep Suppression System**: Makes it so you can stand on your legs longer without passing out. Increases the green part of the [[gameplay:concepts:stamina|stamina]] bar. ===== More Experienced Player Implants ===== [[meta:concepts:rumor|Rumor]] has it that after killing the [[gameplay:lore:idrive|Improbability Drive]] twice, the contestant will be offered a choice of additional types of implants, and more implant types become available as the number of drive kills increases. At this time, the following implants are rumored to be available for more experienced contestants: * **LS-989-440 Skull-Mountable Semiconductor Laser (Skull-Mounted Laser)**: An implant that fires an energy beam that can be used to aid in targeting or to burn an opponent to a crisp from a safe distance away. It can also burn the heck out of the newbie, though, so it should be used with caution.((When the battery burns out, just get a different implant. You'll be tired of it, anyway.)) * **MightyMito (TM) Neural Implant (Mitochondrial Acceleration)**((Lies.)): This implant will allow the contestant to exert cellular-level bodily control. It can be used to grow a spontaneous mustache,((Always fun at parties and quite amusing to [[places:jungle|jungle]] monsters too. Sure, they'll still kill you, but they'll be laughing while they do it. Everyone enjoys a good laugh now and then.)) make one's hide tougher, or accelerate cellular regeneration. * **PherLure (TM) Pheromone Injections (Pheromone Injection Pack)**((More lies.)): Need more charm? This pack is just the ticket. It increases the contestant's pheromone production, causing a number of distracting emotional reactions in opponents.((Note: The management of [[places:improbableisland|Improbable Island]] is __not__ responsible for the actions of monsters under the influence of this implant. Contestants are urged to employ informed consent and always use a condom. Condoms are available from the branch of [[places:outpost:building:eboys|eBoy's]] in most [[places:outpost|Outposts]].)) It temporarily gives the contestant a number of [[gameplay:classes:kittymorphs|Kittymorph]]-like advantages in a fight. * **SERVOTUDE(TM) Combat Servo System (Servo Arms)**: Unlike the other skull-based implants, this one is bolted onto the contestant's spine. It adds an additional set of mechanical arms that can be used for offensive or defensive maneuvers.((Contestants can also use it to scratch their own backs, but we shall not discuss such immodest behavior in this guide.))((Unlocked at 3 DKs.))((Actually unlocked it at 2 DKs))((Battery is recharged when you level up. If you're lucky.)) * **TeleSwift (TM) Neural Implant (Telekinesis)**((Liar liar, pants on fire.)): This particularly useful implant allows the contestant to perform mind-over-matter feats, ranging from low-level stunts like deflecting damage, to paralyzing an opponent, to causing an opponent to explode into flames.((Also fun at parties, provided it is not used near the bar. Remember: Most alcoholic drinks are highly flammable.)) * **PathComms (TM) Neural Implant (Telepathy)**((Blasphemy.)): This implant can be used to toy with an opponent's mind, from causing pangs of guilt, to agonizing headaches. More experienced contestants can use this implant to control [[places:jungle|jungle]] animals around them and summon packs of squirrels from the trees to fight on their behalf.((Surprisingly, this one is __not__ much fun at parties. Those darned squirrels eat all the bean dip.)) * **LITTLEHEAD(TM), BY SMARTYPANTS(TM) (Littlehead)**: This one goes in your pubic area! It helps you be smarter. It gives you a boost in [[meta:concepts:experience|experience]] points that you use to level up.((Yes, the description makes it seem like it gives skill experience, but I have tested this shit. IT DOESN'T)) * **BLOCKHEAD(TM) REVISION 2 (Blockhead)**: Makes building things that much easier for you. Want a house? It'll take 30% work with this implant![Citation needed] * **TESLA FRAME (Tesla Frame)**: Based on the theories of noted 'mad scientist' Nikola Tesla,((create))((Contrary to rumor, Tesla was not the first scientist to be infused with [[gameplay:concepts:improbability|improbability]]. No, he was just plain weird.)) the creator of alternating electric current, this implant offers a particularly devastating attack. It is implanted under the contestant's skin, with hundreds of little metal spikes protruding from the epidermis about an inch apart. Yes, the contestant resembles Pinhead from a certain movie franchise,((We cannot name this franchise because of copyright concerns, but it rhymes with 'Bellraiser.')) but it produces a series of powerful electric zaps that can render an opponent slightly crispy.((Early usage reports suggest this implant has significant bugs, so contestants are advised to proceed with caution. Oh, and wear rubber-soled boots to prevent self-electrocution. Tesla himself wore boots of his own invention with thick rubber soles, making him also the creator of the platform shoe. Consider yourself warned.)) * **Improbability Shard**((Would be true if it weren't a lie.)): This 'implant' is actually a shard from the [[gameplay:lore:idrive|Improbability Drive]] that got caught in your head the last time you destroyed it. The shard provides several effects which have been poorly documented as yet((Hey, I just now started test-driving one. Gimme some time to see what it does.)) but are believed to be similar to the improbable magical((create magic)) effects used by [[gameplay:classes:jokers|Jokers]]. * **WHEELIEFEET(TM) (WheelieFeet)**: FEET REPLACED WITH WHEELS.((FEET REPLACED WITH WHEELS.)) ===== Implant Hints ===== * Keep a piece of lead pipe on your person at all times. * If your implant shorts out, you're doomed. You are therefore advised to avoid bathing at all costs. * More specific descriptions can be found in the catalogs inside the Implant Hut. * FEET REPLACED WITH WHEELS.