=====Masters=====
We could list the dojo masters for you here, but then we'd have to kill you. So, on the whole, it's probably better for you to meet them one by one in the dojo.((//They// won't kill you.))

We can say this much - there are fourteen, two from each of the Island races.((For an account of how this current bunch displaced the standard LotGD masters, see: [[meta:history:oldmasters|Old Masters]].)) And..

Oh.. all right. If you //insist//. Here they are:

  - Human, male: Tom Carney - sock full of marbles((Oddly, Carney wields a sock full of marbles instead of the standard Sock full of Marbles. This was likely just a small oversight.))
  - Zombie, female: Felicia - rotting fists
  - Kittymorph, male:((Or possibly female, accounts differ.)) Kouska - fangs and claws
  - Squat, female: Tiffny Figg((Hair pulled back tight in a bun, big gold hoop earrings, heavy mascara. Swears and spits. Always chewing gum.)) -  switchblade
  - Mutant, male: Amir - poetry
  - Robot, female: ADDIE - tazer
  - Joker, male: Will Thompson - glowing green ace of clubs
  - Human, female: Emma Blackman((Sexy and dangerous.)) - riot hammer
  - Zombie, male: Clairvius - severed leg
  - Kittymorph, male:((This tough old tom is //definitely// male. Has astounding ways of using those knitting needles.)) Vitoleone - Granny's knitting needles
  - Squat, male: Devvo - Budget Horse's Tail
  - Mutant, female: Effie - evil ventriloquist dummies - eight of them((Fighting those things is bad enough. You //really// don't want to know what they're //thinking.//))
  - Robot, male: Reventlov - lightning gun
  - Joker, female: Anne Bassett - service revolver