characters:npc:the_watcher [Improbable Island Wiki of Often Not Lies]

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====== The Watcher ======

The [[characters:npc:watcher|Watcher]] is a woman with a Southern((Many planets have a South)) English accent, appearing somewhere in her late 20's or early 30's.  She commonly wears a red turtleneck sweater and round, black-framed glasses.

Her exact position((Hur, hur, hur)) on the Island is unclear, but she does seem to fulfill many roles, from taunting Disgraced Contestants on the [[places:jungle:failboat|Failboat]] to awarding [[gameplay:concepts:glory|glory]] points, to more recently helping out [[gameplay:classes:newbies|newbies]] via a mechanical centipede((Not Hax.)) inserted into the ear canal.((Theirs, not her own.))

Being a blonde, intelligent, attractive, and somewhat well-endowed((Can I reference the foot-jokes that are after this? Or is that too meta?))((It's allowed, but only on the [[meta:concepts:timetravel|time travel]] page. So, no. And know no one has any idea what this discussion is about.)) woman, [[meta:concepts:rumor|rumours]]((Sorry, [[characters:player:cavemanjoe|Caveman Joe]], but while we'll accept the 'u' in a lot of words, this one just looks silly with it.))((Bollocks, you dirty Colonials just don't know the Queen's English.))((Sure we do; we just think it looks funny.))((Canadians appreciate the extra vowels!))((God Save the Queen! Let's go drink!))((Hurray! Last one to the tavern pays!))((Seems that Joe will be paying for a few [[items:drink:gargleblaster|pan-galactic gargleblasters]] tonight!))((C'mon, guys! Honour the Commonwealth!))((Shouldn't that be Commounwealth?))((Secretly, the whole thing is just a plot by the palindromes. Soon, they'll remove the "o".))((Free cake for anyone who adds an extra 'u' to several wourds pointlessly, in honour ouf the Queen!)) naturally abound regarding her sexual ourientation ((Mostly she just likes [[lordbuckethead:you|you]], but don't tell anyone!  You were supposed to forget.))((Needs more 'u'!)).  [[meta:concepts:rumor|Rumours]] also abouund regaruding her mental ourientation, exact age, nationality, and whetuher she's merely a buy-uprouduct of the [[gameplay:lore:idrive|Improbability Drive]].

The Enquirer is currently pesteriuuuuuuuu((Can I have some cake now?))ng her for the rest of an interview. She may respond; she may not.  Until she does, we'll have little information to go on. The Watcher delivered the first part of her life story (along with a severe beating) to the staff of Enquirer [[http://enquirer.improbableisland.com/article.php?story=the_watcher_part_one|here]].

The Collateral Damage Adventuring Guild has named her an honourary member due to her encouragement and observation of Rule 37.(("There is no 'Overkill,' merely 'Open Fire!' and 'Time to Reload.'")) She has not yet seen fit to comment upon this dubious [[gameplay:concepts:glory|honor]]((Or honour, if you prefer))((Oh, I'd prefer to be on 'er, alright)), if indeed it can be called such a thing.

There have been muttuerings lately of her befriending [[lordbuckethead:you|a contestant]] on the island. But they're just ruumors.((Or rumours.))