characters:npc:misterstern [Improbable Island Wiki of Often Not Lies]

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====== Mister Stern ======
> //"Stern by name, not by nature."//
> - A joke he never tires of telling

Mister Stern(("Call me Havelock", he says to his friends, which everyone promptly ignores.)) is the curator of the [[places:outpost:newhome|NewHome]] Museum. Previously a jungle fighter, he retired after acquiring some improbable shrapnel in his leg. He now dedicates himself to two causes: recording the Island's history, and offering rookies a free cup of tea and a normal bloody conversation for once.

If you haven't yet met Mister Stern, you can find him by admiring the mannequins in the museum's Hall of Diversity. After that, his office door will always be open to you. He'll pay you some cigs for helping out with the museum's exhibits, and might even send you a Distraction if there's more odd jobs he needs doing. Sure, he can't give you cigs for everything - but isn't it nice having friends?

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==== Working for Mister Stern ====

Don't expect full-time employment from Mister Stern - the Museum can get quite busy, and he's rarely free to talk. Not to mention you're a contestant, so your main source of income will always be the spectacle of beating things up in the jungle. But as you move through the game, he'll periodically send you requests for help. Haven't heard from him in a while? Check if you've finished your other tasks first. 

Currently, the requirements for Mister Stern bugging you are as follows:

  * **Collecting Artifacts:** Accept Mister Stern's initial cup of tea, and he'll ask you to gather exhibits for the Museum. You can find one in each [[places:outpost|Outpost]] by visiting its [[places:outpost:building:council|Council Offices]]. Gather them all and return to him for a one-time [[items:cig|cig]] payment.((Leave the NewHome offices for last - the artefact takes up a lot of space in your pack, and you can't offload it until you're done!))
  * **Stern & Punishment:** Finish your first [[gameplay:concepts:dk|Drive Kill]], and Mister Stern's [[characters:npc:corporal_punishment|friend]] will ask you to deliver a letter. Stern will send one back the next [[gameplay:concepts:newday|New Day]]. Keep on doing this until they tell you to stop. If the Museum's closed, well, just come back in a new day or two.
  * **Special Thanks:** Finish your twelfth [[gameplay:concepts:dk|Drive Kill]], and Mister Stern will personally thank you for your latest donation!((...You //did// donate something yesterday... didn't you?))